Rejected

[JisthenewK]

Well I heard from a mutual friend that the boy I had a crush on from my previous thread might like me back. She said that he talks about me every day and misses me. So I talk to him on Facebook and ask how he is. His response is "Um. I'm going to bed." Then he leaves. Ouch! :frown: I really want a boyfriend. I really, REALLY want a boyfriend. I have no idea why I even went back to him. I thought I was over him. What's wrong with me?

[azulai]

Are you sure you were rejected or was he shy, nervous or tongue tied?
Did your friend tell him you liked him? Or that she told you he liked you? Some people feel mortified when their crush finds out.

Hang in there.

[ChadCoxRox]

Mistakes get made. Feelings at 17 can be so much more intense than for us old folk! Don't tie yourself down to just one set of feelings for one dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're worth more than that treatment or you deserve it. YOU get to choose! Even though it hurts. No pain no gain! Live and LEARN. Hope you feel better real soon!!!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Back when I was 17 we walked 20 miles up hill both ways to school - and we were deprived of facebook, instant messaging and other text versions of communication. If you wanted to use text you used a pen, paper and a stamp and it took days to get a reply.

We were all sort of up in your face when it came to communication. Can you believe it, we went to see people and talked to them, then did sneaky things like watch their facial expressions and the smarter one of my era would read your body language and tone of voice to get a handle on what you were really thinking.

My point. You only got a few words that could mean anything.

You kids now days use texting as if its the only form of communication out there, and many of you are using it for the really important stuff then wondering why your relationships are going to hell in a hand basket.

Humans evolved to communicate with more than symbols on a screen. Tone of Voice, facial expressions, body language convey volumes of information that are really needed when dealing with matters of the heart.

I bet he blushed (most likely turned beet red) and maybe even broke out in a sweat. You missed out on these obvious signs of embarrassment, thus are reading his words to mean lack of interest when his words were a way to wiggle out of this obtuse conversation/confrontation.

This is the sort of conversation that must be done one on one, face to face to where you both can see each others faces, read the volumes of unspoken dialog that humans use in real communication.

Frankly, confronting another male in this world with the idea that you are gay and interested usually throws up a defensive block of denial, even the 100% way out of the closet guys who have been around for years and knows when a guy is trying to pick up on them will have that momentary doubt way back in the mind. That doubt is 'is this guy really gay and interested, or is he setting me up to take me on a fishing trip where I get dragged behind is truck a few miles, beaten then hung on a fence to die.

The truth is that we homosexuals evolved in a society where it was ok to play bash the gay and use all manner of tricks to get a gay guy to confess his homosexuality so the gang of thugs can take him out and teach him that gay is wrong.

Since your in school I bet you are drowning in a sea of gay-hatred and are not even aware of it. Every single time someone says 'That _____________ is gay' as in gay = negative, you are being bashed and it is telling you you are in danger He is being exposed to that and he may be interested in you, but may also be worried that you are really setting him up for a good school-yard bashing.

Using 'a friend' and Facebook to convey real interest is just an all around bad idea. You need to convince this guy you are sincere and honestly not out to hurt him. You ain't going to do that by having your hag size him up for you. You ain't going to do that with a 's'up' via Facebook. You are only going to do that by presenting your eyes and your face and your body for his inspection, allowing him to read what you are really saying.

[nikgee]

If I where you I'd take a close look at Bowya Aerrow comment on this issue you are having. I can't add to or take away any of his thoughts. Spot on!

[JisthenewK]

Back when I was 17 we walked 20 miles up hill both ways to school - and we were deprived of facebook, instant messaging and other text versions of communication. If you wanted to use text you used a pen, paper and a stamp and it took days to get a reply.

We were all sort of up in your face when it came to communication. Can you believe it, we went to see people and talked to them, then did sneaky things like watch their facial expressions and the smarter one of my era would read your body language and tone of voice to get a handle on what you were really thinking.

My point. You only got a few words that could mean anything.

You kids now days use texting as if its the only form of communication out there, and many of you are using it for the really important stuff then wondering why your relationships are going to hell in a hand basket.

Humans evolved to communicate with more than symbols on a screen. Tone of Voice, facial expressions, body language convey volumes of information that are really needed when dealing with matters of the heart.

I bet he blushed (most likely turned beet red) and maybe even broke out in a sweat. You missed out on these obvious signs of embarrassment, thus are reading his words to mean lack of interest when his words were a way to wiggle out of this obtuse conversation/confrontation.

This is the sort of conversation that must be done one on one, face to face to where you both can see each others faces, read the volumes of unspoken dialog that humans use in real communication.

Frankly, confronting another male in this world with the idea that you are gay and interested usually throws up a defensive block of denial, even the 100% way out of the closet guys who have been around for years and knows when a guy is trying to pick up on them will have that momentary doubt way back in the mind. That doubt is 'is this guy really gay and interested, or is he setting me up to take me on a fishing trip where I get dragged behind is truck a few miles, beaten then hung on a fence to die.

The truth is that we homosexuals evolved in a society where it was ok to play bash the gay and use all manner of tricks to get a gay guy to confess his homosexuality so the gang of thugs can take him out and teach him that gay is wrong.

Since your in school I bet you are drowning in a sea of gay-hatred and are not even aware of it. Every single time someone says 'That _____________ is gay' as in gay = negative, you are being bashed and it is telling you you are in danger He is being exposed to that and he may be interested in you, but may also be worried that you are really setting him up for a good school-yard bashing.

Using 'a friend' and Facebook to convey real interest is just an all around bad idea. You need to convince this guy you are sincere and honestly not out to hurt him. You ain't going to do that by having your hag size him up for you. You ain't going to do that with a 's'up' via Facebook. You are only going to do that by presenting your eyes and your face and your body for his inspection, allowing him to read what you are really saying.

I'm homeschooled.

[BigCub]

Looking at this from a psychological stand point, having nothing to do with anyone being gay, straight or bi. You are only 17 years old. Your brain has yet to fully mature, the human brain continues to grow & develop well into your mid to late 20's. Because of this, your brain sometimes tricks you.

You feel a connection with this person mixed with the possibility that you may feel physically attracted to him, all of these emotions can become confusing and your brain can sometimes release chemicals that give you a sense of feeling in love, more likely than not what you're feeling is nothing more than infatuation or lust, because true love is still such a new emotion for someone who is only 17 years old, it is very easy to confuse other emotions with love.

This is why so many teen marriages fail and so many people under 30 find themselves stuck in a loveless marriage. Think of everyone you know over the age of 30 and then look at how many of them are still in the same relationship they were when they were in their teens or early 20's. If you can actually think of any who are still together, look & see how many of them are still truly in love and how many of them seem miserable or unhappy with their relationship. There will always be a few who are still together & do seem happy, what happens in those situations; quite often the couple will go through a period where they grew apart, their feelings & emotions matured and they realize that perhaps what they were feeling for that person when they were under 30 was most likely not love but lust, but these people are dedicated to making their relationships work because they are too afraid of starting over again or because of other things like religion make them feel guilty if they divorce or separate, or sometime they try to make it work due to children. In these cases after a while of feeling emotionally detached from this person they then go through a period of getting to know each other all over again and then real feelings of love begin to develop for that person.

So what I am saying is that it is HIGHLY unlikely you are in love with this boy. You are just in lust with him & have a deep infatuation. Don't confuse love with lust.

[JisthenewK]

Looking at this from a psychological stand point, having nothing to do with anyone being gay, straight or bi. You are only 17 years old. Your brain has yet to fully mature, the human brain continues to grow & develop well into your mid to late 20's. Because of this, your brain sometimes tricks you.

You feel a connection with this person mixed with the possibility that you may feel physically attracted to him, all of these emotions can become confusing and your brain can sometimes release chemicals that give you a sense of feeling in love, more likely than not what you're feeling is nothing more than infatuation or lust, because true love is still such a new emotion for someone who is only 17 years old, it is very easy to confuse other emotions with love.

This is why so many teen marriages fail and so many people under 30 find themselves stuck in a loveless marriage. Think of everyone you know over the age of 30 and then look at how many of them are still in the same relationship they were when they were in their teens or early 20's. If you can actually think of any who are still together, look & see how many of them are still truly in love and how many of them seem miserable or unhappy with their relationship. There will always be a few who are still together & do seem happy, what happens in those situations; quite often the couple will go through a period where they grew apart, their feelings & emotions matured and they realize that perhaps what they were feeling for that person when they were under 30 was most likely not love but lust, but these people are dedicated to making their relationships work because they are too afraid of starting over again or because of other things like religion make them feel guilty if they divorce or separate, or sometime they try to make it work due to children. In these cases after a while of feeling emotionally detached from this person they then go through a period of getting to know each other all over again and then real feelings of love begin to develop for that person.

So what I am saying is that it is HIGHLY unlikely you are in love with this boy. You are just in lust with him & have a deep infatuation. Don't confuse love with lust.

I see what you mean, but I am not in love with him. I know that. I just miss him. I'm homeschooled, we're both gay, he's cute, and used to make me happy. Now he's acting like a jerk. I never said I was out to marry the guy, just grow a closer relationship. It hurt a lot to get the cold shoulder from him.

[sc4456]

Looking at this from a psychological stand point, having nothing to do with anyone being gay, straight or bi. You are only 17 years old. Your brain has yet to fully mature, the human brain continues to grow & develop well into your mid to late 20's. Because of this, your brain sometimes tricks you.

You feel a connection with this person mixed with the possibility that you may feel physically attracted to him, all of these emotions can become confusing and your brain can sometimes release chemicals that give you a sense of feeling in love, more likely than not what you're feeling is nothing more than infatuation or lust, because true love is still such a new emotion for someone who is only 17 years old, it is very easy to confuse other emotions with love.

This is why so many teen marriages fail and so many people under 30 find themselves stuck in a loveless marriage. Think of everyone you know over the age of 30 and then look at how many of them are still in the same relationship they were when they were in their teens or early 20's. If you can actually think of any who are still together, look & see how many of them are still truly in love and how many of them seem miserable or unhappy with their relationship. There will always be a few who are still together & do seem happy, what happens in those situations; quite often the couple will go through a period where they grew apart, their feelings & emotions matured and they realize that perhaps what they were feeling for that person when they were under 30 was most likely not love but lust, but these people are dedicated to making their relationships work because they are too afraid of starting over again or because of other things like religion make them feel guilty if they divorce or separate, or sometime they try to make it work due to children. In these cases after a while of feeling emotionally detached from this person they then go through a period of getting to know each other all over again and then real feelings of love begin to develop for that person.

So what I am saying is that it is HIGHLY unlikely you are in love with this boy. You are just in lust with him & have a deep infatuation. Don't confuse love with lust.

leave the poor boy alone. i know exactly how you feel and just talk to him but like more casual and then maybe he'll start to relax around you

[JisthenewK]

I just thought I would update you all! Thanks for the kind words! I have a boyfriend now and feel so great. He's neither of the two boys I had a crush on, but he is cute and I feel comfortable around him! mile: