Lately I've been feeling real down and depressed since I came out. I know I should feel better and proud of who I am, but really, I just feel scared. I had a life set out for me and it's not the life I want now and it's frightening. Some days I just don't know what to do.
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Don´t worry .... we all have down-phases.
After a coming out you can feel proud ..and it is right to feel proud.... but sometimes it is more a mix of proudness... fear... sometimes a bit shame ( because just we as gay or bisexual people have to declare or sexuality to others ... our family and friends ( no straight guy or girl has to do that ).. and to talk about that we prefer mens ... or as lesbian women )
But it is all right .... you did the right thing.... and you can be proud.
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I want to be proud. I really do. It's not that I'm not proud, but like I said scared. It's a whole new world for me. Something I steered myself away from for the longest time until I had it in me to admit I just couldn't be into girls like I tried so desperately to be.
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It is a new world ... we learned to live in a straight world ... and we have to learn to live in our own world... with own rules, different behavior, so many more different kinds of people and sexualities ( gay, bi, transgender ) we have to learn to accept us...learn to accept others in their own sexuality...
And this both worlds the straight and our World must be united in our heads....
I helped a few guys through their coming out .... and I explain it that way : Its like to learn to walk .... it works sometimes better and sometimes bad in the first time
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I appreciate the advice. I just feel wrong. Not because I'm gay, but because I'm fighting it so hard. I hate that it's a constant battle.
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it gets better.... believe me. Just be yourself.... and don´t think to much about it. And you will see... you can accept it. Important is that you do not to try to play a role... be just you. Nothing in your person and your mind has changed... you are the same person you was before..
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Fid, I know it feels like your whole world has been upended but realistically and objectively I doubt it has.
I don't know one iota of what is going on in your life but, I would guess that even if you lost a relationship with a woman over accepting being gay, you didn't lose whatever education, job skills, work experience, likes, dislikes, financial and retirement dreams, etc...
Sure you have a very good reason to go make new friends, meet new people but, except for the homophobic, you probably still have some of your old friends too. Can't be 100% sure because there are a few of us who literally did lose everything and everyone when we cam out, but even then we didn't loose who we are, what we liked, or what we wanted for ourselves, we just got honest with ourselves and accepted that our ideal life partner would be a man instead of a woman and, that if we were going to have children it would be via a surrogate or adoption.
We still like this kind of car, that kind of food, think this fabric feels better for our undershorts than that, like one style of t-shirt over another, etc...
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I think it's normal to have mixed feelings after coming out. I had too. I was kind of anxious, excited and scared at the same time. I didn't know what to expect from coming out. How will my friends react to my outing for a long term? Etc. I asked myself.
But things get better in each coming week. You will feel more solid and confident with your decision of coming out.
By the way, congrats for coming out.
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