I know here is no reason to go to someone and tell them im gay. But when they ask ... i'm lying. And it makes me feel like living a lie.
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I don't announce it but, if I'm asked, then yes I'm gay. I don't hide it but I don't flaunt it either and, I think that's the best for me. all of my friends and neighbors know and, most of the people that live in the small town I do the majority of my shopping in know, not because I told them but because I have no problem kissing or hugging a man I'm dating in public and except for the last two months, I had a partner, and we were affectionate in public.
I find it amusing when people don't know how to address my partner and I and stammer over calling us "Sir and Sir" or "Sir and Ma'am." That is a southern USA thing, polite people address men as "Sir" and women as "Ma'am" but, when you are a gay couple, it confuses them LOL.
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Whatever the sexual orientation, is not a matter to advertise it, because you are not going everywhere proclaiming you are hetero and the same applies for the rest. The only persons perhaps that should know from you is the people really care, the rest who cares...
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Rumble88 Wrote:I know here is no reason to go to someone and tell them im gay. But when they ask ... i'm lying. And it makes me feel like living a lie.
My 2 cents.
Come out when you feel it is the right time. You do not need to force yourself to come out when you are not ready.
I advice you to think 5 steps ahead. Think about pros and cons of coming out at 16 in Turkey. How open minded are your close friends, Rumble? You can try to dig their openness by asking gay related questions - "Hey, what do you think about X? Do you know X is gay? So you guys are okay with X being gay?"
I only came out in the end of 2009. I thought it was a good idea to find a stable job and build a solid income to support myself before coming out - in case my family decide to disown me.
I don't publicly announce my sexuality. Straight people don't. So why should I? But I don't hide my sexuality either (God, I asked a guy out in a crowded elevator filled with Muslims few years ago. It was a hilarious experience).
Although I'm out, I still do watch my back considering that I live in an Islamic country. No matter how modern it is.
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Blue Wrote:I don't announce it but, if I'm asked, then yes I'm gay. I don't hide it but I don't flaunt it either and, I think that's the best for me. all of my friends and neighbors know and, most of the people that live in the small town I do the majority of my shopping in know, not because I told them but because I have no problem kissing or hugging a man I'm dating in public and except for the last two months, I had a partner, and we were affectionate in public.
I find it amusing when people don't know how to address my partner and I and stammer over calling us "Sir and Sir" or "Sir and Ma'am." That is a southern USA thing, polite people address men as "Sir" and women as "Ma'am" but, when you are a gay couple, it confuses them LOL.
What's wrong with the plural: Sirs???
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Rumbles, you could answer: "Hey, I don't know. I'm still trying to figure it out. Have you figured it out?" Saying that you're not interested or too young to know is still an adequate answer.
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Rumble, there is no rush, if you are comfortable telling a few people, then do so. Telling does not have to be a big deal. If you don't think they will take it well, don't tell them. Our sexuality is only a part of who we are, it need not define everything about us.
@ Princealberotfb: Nothing wrong with plural Sirs but, that doesn't enter their heads here, that is for speaking to a large group, a couple is simply supposed to be Sir and Ma'am and, when that isn't the case, they get confused as to how to address us politely.
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Blue Wrote:Rumble, there is no rush, if you are comfortable telling a few people, then do so. Telling does not have to be a big deal. If you don't think they will take it well, don't tell them. Our sexuality is only a part of who we are, it need not define everything about us.
@ Princealberotfb: Nothing wrong with plural Sirs but, that doesn't enter their heads here, that is for speaking to a large group, a couple is simply supposed to be Sir and Ma'am and, when that isn't the case, they get confused as to how to address us politely.
Given that, Blue, how does the waiter or waitress address two gentlemen eating out together (who aren't necessarily a couple, but could be friends or business partners)? It seems to me that the same address could be used as in your 'confusing' case.
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Waitresses and waiters would not presume to know the financial status of their customers, thus would not presume to use titles. You have to live in one of these small towns where the three classes are poor, Gentry and, New money to understand how that works. And, that is another discussion. This thread is about Rumble and coming out.
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Blue Wrote:Waitresses and waiters would not presume to know the financial status of their customers, thus would not presume to use titles. You have to live in one of these small towns where the three classes are poor, Gentry and, New money to understand how that works. And, that is another discussion. This thread is about Rumble and coming out.
Blue, I agree that this is Rumble's thread about coming out, and we'll get back to it. You do have the knack of not answering the question though.... Two men together, whatever the context, when people want to be polite, what's that got to do with social status, the way you address them? I obviously don't expect the waiter or waitress to call them 'Dudes!".
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