My sex drive randomly died right as I entered the "gay world" and started meeting other gays and potential interests and all of that. Its been like this for a week. One thing I am doing to solve this problem is to stop viewing porn. I feel like I can't find any guy attractive because its not the same as the images and feelings I have associated with sex (masturbation) for the past 8-9 years of my life. I straight up don't get hard or excited at the prospect of sex.
This is such a weird feeling because I have got off everyday or more for a long long time, and suddenly I don't want to.
Am I ever going to enjoy sex, what do I have to do? Why is this happening to me, honestly I want to start fucking people and enjoy physical connections like everyone else has been doing, but its not there right now!
Seriously this is the kind of shit closeted people go through when they try to force relations with women, but I am not a closeted straight person lol! I feel fucking asexual after 8 years of getting off everyday, what is going on?
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welcome to GS
your sex drive may have never died just as you entered the gay world. It possibly was always repressed. Forget his name and feel you deserve to be loved and the physical contact. Have him sex you just the way you see in the images about the porn. Your own live porn session.
my impression you have not dated either a man or a giirl. But you dont feel attracted to either?
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You might not want to hear it, but it is possible to be naturally asexual. Believe me, if that's the case, you aren't the only one. And, just like any other sexual orientation, it has nothing to with behavior, it's defined by which gender you are sexually attracted to.
There is also demisexual, people who need to have a strong emotional bond with someone before they feel any sexual attraction and, if they are not in a relationship are like asexuals.
Doesn't mean you can't have sex, or won't or that you don't have a libido, just neither gender does it for you, or you need the emotional attachment first (if that's a fantasy in your head when viewing porn) And, there is nothing abnormal or wrong with that, if that's you then that's how you're made and, it's fine.
Whatever the case, if you've seen a doctor to rule out any physical reasons, then either it's psychological or, it's naturally how you are.
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It is most likely too late to just stop 'seeing porn' and expect your expectations of sex and men to change.
You already set a precedence through the years of watching porn and masturbating. Maybe you set many precedences, such as expecting 'the perfect man' (in bed) to look like your favorite porn star(s) coupled with defined roles and script that go with sex. Maybe the whole dick size thing matters to you. Seriously few porn actors have 'average' dick sizes, most got their job because they have above average endowments.
Is it possible to break this chain? Unknown. I have no idea how far into porn you are and what your expectations are due to all of that porn.
I do think that you will have to work harder at finding the right man (over the perfect man). And you most likely are going to be focusing on other things other than 'fucking'.
I doubt your libido is broken, and I doubt you are asexual. You just have set unrealistic expectations that really don't fit into the real world....
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Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:It is most likely too late to just stop 'seeing porn' and expect your expectations of sex and men to change.
You already set a precedence through the years of watching porn and masturbating. Maybe you set many precedences, such as expecting 'the perfect man' (in bed) to look like your favorite porn star(s) coupled with defined roles and script that go with sex. Maybe the whole dick size thing matters to you. Seriously few porn actors have 'average' dick sizes, most got their job because they have above average endowments.
Is it possible to break this chain? Unknown. I have no idea how far into porn you are and what your expectations are due to all of that porn.
I do think that you will have to work harder at finding the right man (over the perfect man). And you most likely are going to be focusing on other things other than 'fucking'.
I doubt your libido is broken, and I doubt you are asexual. You just have set unrealistic expectations that really don't fit into the real world....
Well, I am not into any porn at this point, so its not like I'm addicted. It doesn't appeal to me at all anymore because its all fake and at this point I hate it and wish my parents were stricter on computer rules. Its kind of hard not to get depressed in this situation, but I hope your right and I can love someone in sexual way at some point. This realization is way harder than deciding that I was gay.
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I would suggest spending more time looking at guys in real life, at school, at the mall, a big event in your city. Think about what's attractive. You'd be surprised at what you find attractive. My other suggestion try to look beyond the looks. Get to know some of the people you are meeting because you never know what might come from a friendship. You need some real life experience. There are some really attractive, both physically and personality, people out there
I am like you in that I have spent the last several years in the masturbation mode. In my opinion this can condition you and make it hard for you in real life. I'm not into porn, at least porn with nakedness and sexual acts. I seem to be perfectly attracted to guys in everyday life. However, I really like guys with perky butts and toned legs. I also have a thing for underwear like briefs, trunks, or the shorter underwear. I don't like boxers, they don't look sexy to me. Interesting enough, I met a guy at a club about 6 months ago. He wasn't my ideal guy, wore boxers, not the nicest butt, but he was kind of cute. Long story short, we ended up kissing and cuddling for a while. He was so gentle and was a really good kisser. I have actually kissed a few other guys since then and none of them compare to him. Why am I telling you this? Because someone I didn't think would arouse me did.
My other story, I seemed to like guys who were a little more broad chested, not too big, but big enough to show that they worked out. I once hugged a guy like that and realized I couldn't truly hold him like I wanted to because I'm a little on the small side. Why am I telling you this? Because during some of my masturbation sessions, guys like him where in my head, but in real life that didn't seem to turn me on.
Someone already mentioned this, but maybe you need an emotional attachment first. I could see this the case for me because I am really a reserved, goal-oriented and moral person. I think if I met someone who was caring, patient, had a good head on their shoulders and wasn't the hottest thing, I really think we could have satisfying sex.
Your tastes may change as time goes on so don't base everything on how you feel now.
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I think I fit that demisexual profile blue suggested. I only made sexual contact with two people in my 29 years and both I loved deeply. I solo all the time but honestly I don't think about sex with others when I do it.
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A lot of people are, they want to make love, not just have sex. I had a partner like that, it isn't a big deal, just means you have to care about the person before they are getting your pants off.
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Although, you can be always ready, take in consideration:
There are times when the sex drive is not as high as usual, hormones, stress and other factors, is perfectly normal. Weight training, sea food, no alcohol, no smoking will increase your chances of healthy libido, keep masturbating is good, keeps your Test production ON, and try not to stress too much because it may blocked at the end.
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Please help me figure out what is going on with me!
