I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
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“Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”
― Douglas Adams
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Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live.
Charles Bukowski
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"What disturbs mens' minds is not events, but their judgements on events."
Epictetus, Roman Stoic
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"(born c. AD 55—died c. 135) Greek philosopher associated with Stoicism. His original name is not known; epiktetos means “acquired.” He is not known to have written anything, but his teachings were transmitted by his pupil Arrian (d. c. AD 180) in two works, the Discourses and the Encheiridion. True education, Epictetus believed, consists in recognizing that the only thing that belongs to an individual fully is his will. Humans are not responsible for the ideas that present themselves to their consciousness, though they are wholly responsible for how they react to them."
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“One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.”
― Victor Borge
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^:biggrin:
"An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park a bike."
- Spiro T. Agnew
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An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
- Agatha Christie
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
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You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
- Ellen DeGeneres.
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