Must Vent... I can be good I can be good...

[ChadCoxRox]

Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

[dfiant]

[Puck]

I am so sorry for what he is putting not only you, but your children through. I can't stand people who are unable to show the barest amount of empathy and human kindness for others....especially if they claimed to love, or once love them.

.....I'll go beat him up for you if you wish

Seriously though, I truly hope with all my heart things perk up for you soon. You're a good person who doesn't deserve his abuse. For now, take solace in the fact that your friends here care for you and are always willing to listen and do what they can to ease some of your suffering.



Take heart that there are people out there who love and care for your well-being...and don't let this asshole get you down, investing negativity in his pettiness is letting him win. When he starts getting you upset, focus on something in life you love, whatever that may be and put all your energy into that.

Best of luck to you mile:

[Jay]

You're giving your best of the very best effort to be a good mother to your children. Being a mother is not an easy job. It's a 24/7. Big hug with a huge salute.

I actually wanted to attach an image along with my post. But Photobucket (where I store my images) continues to give error. I'll try to upload and post it tomorrow.

[princealbertofb]

Gossamer, I'd like to suggest that you don't let your ex husband into the house. Is there a place locally where you could both go, neutral ground, like a café or diner, where the kids could be "exchanged" when they are going to be with their dad for a while?

He has no right to criticize your house and how you run it. But the best way would be for him not to be exposed to it. Forbidden grounds. No trespassing.

The kids might be unhappy with the place they live in, but then they can help out, can't they? (maybe they are too young for the moment, but they will be eventually old enough to help with the chores).

Good luck.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I see, you married a rage-aholic. They don't necessarily become abusive, but they love to rage at every little thing.

I don't know about Indiana, but here in California a few counties have programs where they can send a 'maid' to assist around the house. Its a government program is you paid based on your income and household size.

One of my nieces is currently in a similar boat, three kids, divorced her jerk, erm, husband has 'womanly issues' that make doing things difficult, but she still holds down th 40-50 hour a week job.

She went through the Welfare department (Jerk won't pay child support, so she has to get it through welfare and welfare is going to garnish his wages and make him into a dad-beat dad). It was through the process of getting aid that she discovered this program.

She gets 'maid service' once a week. The maid comes over does laundry, assists in cleaning and does other things. Its all based on your ability/needs. The niece pays something like $10 a month, the state picks up the rest of the tab.

Since he was doing dishes, I take that to mean you do not have one of those new inventions called a dish washer (Don't worry, I don't have one either). You might take the pleasure of digging at him something along the lines of 'It would be nice if I could afford a dish washer'...

Personally, since he comes over to scream at the kids, you may want to seriously reconsider this custody issue - take it to a lawyer. Shouting at children is now against the law in most states. Its considered 'verbal abuse'.

I suspect that there may be other things/programs available to you at county or state level. You just need to dig a little to find out what kind of assistance programs exist.

[GossamerMoon]

Gossamer, I'd like to suggest that you don't let your ex husband into the house. Is there a place locally where you could both go, neutral ground, like a café or diner, where the kids could be "exchanged" when they are going to be with their dad for a while?

He has no right to criticize your house and how you run it. But the best way would be for him not to be exposed to it. Forbidden grounds. No trespassing.

The kids might be unhappy with the place they live in, but then they can help out, can't they? (maybe they are too young for the moment, but they will be eventually old enough to help with the chores).

Good luck.

I wish it was that easy, but he lives three hours away. It was part of the agreement to let him stay here when visiting, because he "can't afford" a hotel room every few weeks. But I'm thinking that will have to change. ::bitch-slapping the turd--in my mind! ::

[GossamerMoon]

Bow, we have a dishwasher. That's what makes him so mad. I don't use it enough.

We did move to a new state, and I have to find a new attorney, but it's costly. Grr.

I yell at the kids too, but I talk to them afterward, and I at least make an effort not to demean them. That's the biggest difference. In IL, it's "harassment," but it's hard to use that in custody issues. I have to find out what it's like here now. Too bad it's against the law to do audio recordings against a person's knowledge w/out a warrant. That would go a long way to helping.

I'm feeling better today. I mean, I have new possibilities on the table (pretty much got offered to be sub teacher as many days a week as I want, because I'd be better at it than almost anyone they currently have, oh, and I know the district super!). I got out of the house and away today, but back home now. I'm in my room away from him, but you hear everything in this house.

Now if only I could get my cat's ass off my arm and tail out of my face, I might get some web design work done! ;-)

Thank you for your support. It means a lot.

[Rainbowmum]

Girl , don't you dare let him make you feel like that.
That there is emotional abuse , so what if the house looks lived in?
The kids are fed and cared for , never hungry or in danger,always clean and warm.

If I was you , I would take it up with your lawyer ,he is there to see the children , not to abuse you and make you feel like dirt under his feet.
This is your house ,your life and he is a visitor that should be grateful for your hospitality.
It is just another manipulative way he is trying to punish you with,break the spirit and she will come running back.

Don't kid yourself woman , he knows what he is doing.

Do not let him do this to you , take the power back , he can only make you feel bad about yourself if you let him.

I can feel your heartache from here ,do not let your children think that a relation has to be this way.

Here for you.

[ChadCoxRox]

...Too bad it's against the law to do audio recordings against a person's knowledge w/out a warrant. That would go a long way to helping...

Thank you for your support. It means a lot.

Gossamer you set up the recorder and have it ready. The minute he enters you say you are recording and do it consistently. He's informed and you WILL eventually get what you need. Have the kids present when you announce. Hold the recorder if possible so he can't grab it. If it's your home and he's not down with it...he can leave as he was duly informed. I'd document every single time he comes through the door!