Not That Anyone Cares But...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

NTACB... honestly if you need a drink you have a problem - a drinking problem.

Right now I need a drink, as such I am drinking out of need - not want. This means I have a drinking problem... Of course I have no problem getting the fluid into my guts, the problem is I have a fifth... erm, HAD a fifth I have like a shot left... ok what I call a shot ain't exactly a shot.

Once one starts drinking like this its hard to stop. Honestly, I strongly suggest you do not start or you will end up like me, old, decrepit, with not a single goddamn thing to show for 47 years of life needing yet one more drink in order to maybe (hopefully) find oblivion at the bottom of your bottle.

You don't want to be me - seriously, life is really fucked up being me - its hurtful, painful and the only way it ends is with death.

Yeah I know, I come off as a happy go-lucky, always funny elf - the reality is I am not that happy and seriously contemplate putting the muzzle of my side arm in my mouth and blowing the back of my head across the wall behind me.

If you are depressed, if you are feeling crappy get a therapist and deal with the issues causing that. The longer you delay in getting real help, the more fucked up you will be until the day comes when you are totally messed up beyond hope or redemption.

Drinking is a downward venture - and the bottom isn't hell, its the sewers of hell. DON'T DO IT!!!!

I say this with total love for you, don't make me come down there and kick your ass for following in my foot steps.

[southbiochem]

NTACB.............

I have constantly thinked about starting shit like that, Bowyn...drugs, alcohol, whatever..

I know what they can do...and as a degreed biochemist I know EXACTLY what I would be doing to myself..

I have never done any of that...despite my constant state of 13-14 years of "low mood"

I don't know if it was raising or if I'm "strong" which I doubt, but I have never done any of that...

lately though.---I've gotten to a place where if I didn't have a job I wouldn't get out of bed at all...

hence my thinking of giving up on being responsible and doing what everyone else does..

........ for you.....

you don't deserve any of the shit that's fallen upon you...and If it helps, I do take your words and expertice into great consideration

[mbennet35]

Not that anyone cares but today was really long and depressing. Funeral.

[trialbyerror]

No words my young friend

[stu]

NTACB.............
hence my thinking of giving up on being responsible and doing what everyone else does..

Then wouldn't you still be unhappy but risk being depednant on drugs also?

[partis]

N T A C B this film is boring.

[southbiochem]

Then wouldn't you still be unhappy but risk being depednant on drugs also?

Probably...but I'm looking at people constantly being their worse possible self and still getting as much in life as I do while working my ass off...like it doesn't make a difference...and these poeple are hardly lonely....in fact it's a bit of a tendencythat the worse people get the best in dating...don't ask me how that works..

I'm bored of being responsible always-correct me...

anyway...

NTACB I got out of my work and started collecting chamomille that grows just outside the building

mile:

Maybe if that makes me sleep better I'll forget a bit of the above

[Bowyn Aerrow]

NTACB - Appearances can be deceiving. Quality people do tend to have more quality relationships and less mere acquaintances. Less quality people might have more relationships but they are in turn less quality relationships.

You are doing good. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you are doing better than many others.

[stu]

Probably...but I'm looking at people constantly being their worse possible self and still getting as much in life as I do while working my ass off...like it doesn't make a difference...and these poeple are hardly lonely....in fact it's a bit of a tendencythat the worse people get the best in dating...don't ask me how that works..

Would being 'worse' make you happy? It might make them happy - it might not.

[southbiochem]

Nope...I guess it would not make me happy....

just numb me out long enough for me to forget about everything for just a while...but I assume in the end it's not worth it...

NTACB but thanks guys for the words...also, I drank my chamomille infusion and I slept a bit better mile: