Bricg1970 Wrote:I don´t see the heterosexuals go around proclaiming aloud their sexuality ... just keep in mind that hetro is the over whelming 95% majority.
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pellaz Wrote:Look at how sexuality ( mostly the 95% straight population ) is integrated into the media and culture. Its everywhere. A lady usually has less than expected clothiers on but is still considered well dressed. Like it or not the sex is socially its considered important.
there is more than being the best gay man you can be and the term LGBT dosnt cover all. Things are more complicated than being the straight looking man lady. Your do want to look attractive... to your self in the mirror.
I understand things even 5 years ago were a lot different but being gay is no big deal. I expect to be treated like that.
at work i put a pic of my partner out on my desk, find it immediately solves a lot of problems.
I like people to judge me for what I am, not rumor and innuendo.
Mainly if I am out at work as gay and have male friends and very close co-workers it really is much easier. I walk into a small crowded office with a group meeting or have a sit next to a male co worker for 2-3 hours i want to concentrate on the work related issue.
My partner visits me at work from time to time and we take the train back together.
my partner's manager is gay If I had a husband I would put his picture on my desk. But I don't do pin UPS or raunchy calenders, honesty I like hunting and fishing, maybe some trucks for office decor. I am single.
Let people have their roomer, I don't care. If they have the balls to ask I will tell them. But again I am not a guy you would expect.
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Bricg1970 Wrote:I don´t see the heterosexuals go around proclaiming aloud their sexuality, why Gays should do it?
i have one straight friend who does have to come out as straight quite a lot , lol ~
anyway ...
i was never really in the closet , so i've not felt much of a need to come out ever . but when people ask , i'll tell them . or if we're talking about relationships i'll just mention that i have a girlfriend ...
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For me, as Bisexual also AND in a relationship with a woman, I don't feel a need to come out and tell everyone I know.
My reasoning right now is that it's just not necessary, and it'd probably be confusing.
"Hey dad, I'm bi"
"But you have a girlfriend? So how did you realize you like men while you have a girlfriend?"
Blah blah blah.
So, for me anyway, I don't plan on making it a huge public thing unless I ever do end up with a man. Otherwise, it's something a few select people in my life know, but most won't.
I consider it a need-to-know basis. Though if someone were to ask me, I'd tell them the truth.
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hank Wrote:If I had a husband I would put his picture on my desk. actually not a husband yet, ssm is illegal where i live.
hank Wrote:... If they have the balls to ask I will tell them. But again I am not a guy you would expect. I would consider it internally homophobic if you put a big effort into the walk that way dress that way if your definitely not that way.
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It is not necessary and the whole thing is your choice.
Do not let anyone pressure you into doing it,I have never met a straight person that has declared their sexuality.
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Bricg1970 Wrote:I don´t see the heterosexuals go around proclaiming aloud their sexuality
I've seen it done. Granted, if someone does it too often then I get suspicious.
And one of the worst things a guy can say to another guy is call him gay (and sometimes considered fighting words, as in violence). The absolute worst are those who are closeted gay who knowingly try to hide their own orientation by publicly hating on those out and proud (or even just not living by their gender roles enough). Of course such hate is another way of proclaiming heterosexual pride (pride in the dark, evil sense in this case).
ETA: when I was the victim of slut rumors guys were always coming around me and then lying about the sex they got with me so that it got back to me. I'd say (even if what they said was true) that's rubbing their heterosexuality in everyone's faces (but others don't mind as they're hets, too). That is, if I'd been a boy and they still bragged about having sex with me THEN they'd be accused of rubbing their lifestyle in everyone's faces, but if held to equal standards then those boys were doing the same.
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Oh, and in regards to the Bisexuality being a transitional phase in to full homosexuality - I don't agree. It may be for some, but I know for myself that I truly am very attracted to both women and men. So, I don't feel like calling myself Bi is convenient, it's merely accurate.
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ZackT Wrote:Oh, and in regards to the Bisexuality being a transitional phase in to full homosexuality - I don't agree. It may be for some, but I know for myself that I truly am very attracted to both women and men. So, I don't feel like calling myself Bi is convenient, it's merely accurate.
Its seen as a transitional phase to Homosexuality because there are a number of Gay people who do come out as Bisexual to begin with. I used to work with a Bisexual guy who was always thought of as gay because of this.
For some, they think giving people the idea that theyre still attracted to the other gender will "soften the blow" from hearing that they like those of the same gender. I almost buckled under the pressure of thinking that my parents would disown me and got tempted to tell them that I was Bisexual when I was coming out.
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pellaz Wrote:actually not a husband yet, ssm is illegal where i live.
I would consider it internally homophobic if you put a big effort into the walk that way dress that way if your definitely not that way.
I don't put a lot of effort in identifying my sexuality to people I am exactly who I always have been, I dress like a man, I am a man. At work I wear a uniform and that uniform is very important to my job. So I press it myself. But other than keeping a tidy appearance well groomed, and professional, I don't consider my appearance to be particularly gay, besides I am not gay, I am bi. How do stereotypical bi guys act?
Even if I was to be gay, I wouldn't fake an accent, or use my hands anymore than I currently do in conversation.
But I do agree with you efforts to hide your true self are only lies you tell your self.
I like to fish, I love the out doors. I drive a truck, so my decor reflects my interests, not necessarily my sexuality. I am demisexual so I don't tend to gawk at "sexy men or women" so why have pictures of people I don't know or exes? If I wasn't single I would not do anything to hide it if I was with a man, but I wouldn't need to tell everyone ether. If you figured it out say my lover brought me to work and gave me a kiss, okay, tell everyone it doesn't matter to me.
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