I understand gay guys saying they are bi as a way to accept themselves, that's cool, I don't think its wrong I am not the least but offended by it, and more power to them. I thought I was gay all my life, the hardest person I came out to was myself. But once I accepted it I thought the confusion would end. It only got worse. All of the sudden I started thinking about breasts and women, even paying more attention to them in sociality. Perhaps I always was bisexual and just WA fixated on behavior because liking women isn't taboo, nobody ever gets shunned by society go being a flaming heterosexual, so I had to jump the tallest hurtle first.
I know how I feel about the guys I have loved, those feelings will never change even if I marry a woman, I will forever be bi.
For me it was absolutely not a transition. I am glad it makes transition easier for others, I would never condemn a gay guy for saying he is bi at first, or for always, its hard for gay men in my culture.
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I am out to the world. I have been since prepubescent years. But I don't wear it on my shirtsleeves. And I am with you (Hank) about the pride thing. I am proud of my accomplishments - poetry, drawings, music. I don't think that feelings of pride or shame belong to sexual orientation. That's like saying I am proud of having a fully functional pancreas.
However, I am fully engaged in feeling anger toward those who would try to make me feel ashamed for being gay. Still, it seems to me that "gay pride" is somewhat of a misnomer. "gay unashamed" makes more literal sense.
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I totally understand people saying they're bi for years as a crutch of sorts until they get to the point where they can say they're gay. I did that since high school. I didn't want to be gay, and I figured if I was "just" bi, then there was hope I could avoid the issue all together. The result? An unhappy marriage (and more unhappy ex who either still thinks I'm bi (and he therefore missed out on some "possibilities") or has figured it out and is offended and pissed), and in a situation where I cannot afford to come out as bi *or* gay, not unless I want to work hard labor 50+ hours a week and hope that people don't try to make me give the kids to their dad. If I ever am "outed", I don't know what I'd do. Probably move away to a more friendly area and cross my fingers.
That said, I feel bad for looking at it as using a crutch. There are plenty of people out there who are truly bi, like it sounds for Hank. I can see how some people hear "bi" and think "Nah, s/he is really gay and just doesn't wanna admit it," and that is not fair to those who really are bi.
Pride should be in who you are, and you all are correct. Sexuality is only a small part of who you are. I am a mom, an artist, a writer, a book reviewer, a good friend, and many other things. Right now, I don't even know how I could fit dating into my life (of either gender, if I was so inclined).
Well, that's about it for me. Hang in there, all. In another twenty years, people will be WTF about the ignorance.
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Gossamer moon, please don't feel bad.for saying you are bisexual. The reason I think people become so protective of their labels is because they use them to identify themselves to themselves. My sexuality is exactly what it is, I pay no mind to people who tell me what I really am. I am bisexual because I say I am. I owe no one explanation. nobody can really tell me who or what I am. Bisexual helps would be friends and lovers that the door isn't closed by their gender or gender status. Also it allows my friends the knowledge that just because the person next to me is cross gender identified, gender male, gender female, or gender neutral doesn't necessarily mean I am not dating them. Ready I am pan sexual but I get tired of having to explain what that means. and the conversation that shifts into Trans gender people. I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
I use the label the same reason marketers do. Identity. My internal identity is confusing to everyone but me. Bisexual is easy, I like both genders.
Basically put I don't own that label you can use it all you want.
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