Killing over a former partner?

[JisthenewK]

I have heard so many stories about ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends killing their former partners (mostly straight) or their ex-girlfriend or ex-girlfriend's new lover. What is with this? Is it really worth going to prison for? Nobody is worth that! This story stuck out to me.
http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/jessica-...5768574078

[ChadCoxRox]

What often goes untold or at least under scrutinized is the overwhelming degree of alcohol and other drug use involved and/or mental illness in those cases.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I have just ended a 14 year 'marriage' with a guy. I came to find out that at least 12 of those years he was having random sex-hook ups on a regular basis. If his memory of the past year is any indication, about 120 men over 12 years - I suspect a lot more since he is lying to me constantly.

In all honesty I have had strong feelings of wanting to break his neck, spice his meal with rat poison, or clean a gun and have it accidentally discharge in his direction. I sent the guns to a safe place, threw out the rat poison and go outside when he walked in... just to be safe.

I'm not saying that I would kill him, I just know that it is possible that one day he could say the wrong thing, or fight me too much on the 'divorce' we are going through and I could lose it a bit.

We all are capable of killing, under the right set of circumstanced, under the right motivation we are capable. Few people keep that in mind, and few people understand how emotions can easily overcome our logic, thus they 'fall prey' to the hurt, anger, whatever crappy stuff they are feeling.

I nearly lost it with him when we had our 'talk' I was seeing red. I wanted to throw him out the wall, erm, window - no through the wall, maximum damage. It took a great will of effort to remain 'calm'. But then 14 years of my life have been wasted, I was betrayed, and he didn't help because he kept on lying, betraying my trust further and further.

Being there, having my trust betrayed, the hurt, the anger, the unresolved issues of 14 years of 'marriage' plus all the other crap I put up with in 'good faith' that we were at the very least faithful to one another is a lot of emotion to deal with. I can readily understand a person losing control off all of that 'crap' and letting their passion flow and take up an axe and by chopping end the conflict.

Emotions kind of short circuit the brain, Emotions come from the hind-brain, the part of us that is far older and more bestial in nature. the emotional part of the brain is bigger than the fore-brain where reason and logical thought come from.

Worth the risk? No, not to the rational brain, but the rational brain is taken out of the picture and the beast-brain takes over, it knows it hurts and ending that hurt justifies all things.

When my second and I broke up we fell into a destructive 'tit for tat' game. While I walked away from the relationship and wanted to just be away, he followed me around, he came to my job, made a huge scene, got me fired. Well I turned around and found ways to not only get him fired, but also ways to make certain he could never work in the state of Nevada in his line of work.

He called the police on me to report 'breaking and entering' - I turned around and called the police on him for his drug sales/possession. I also did enter the house (no need to break in, I still had a key) and planted some, shall we say evidence, in a place to get him busted. Understand he did sell drugs (and used) so was only helping the wheels of justice to turn faster.

I normally wouldn't do such terrible things, He pushed and I pushed back. He pushed harder and I decided not to just get even, but to always get one up.

This is what happens when people are dealing with hurtful emotions, we tend to let the beast out of its cage and forget the rational consequences of our actions.

[JisthenewK]

I am terribly sorry to hear this story. I remembered on one of my threads you posted about going to a grocery store and being affectionate toward your husband. That's horrible. Now I can see where you are coming from. It takes a big person to calm down and rationalize, still though murder sounds to extreme over some person. I guess I shouldn't judge, though. Who knows what happens when a broken-hearted person snaps?

[Blue]

That's the truth of it. As much as we might like to think we are better, or stronger than that, we are all capable of murder, given the right (wrong) situation, motives and, emotions all falling into play simultaneously.

Would I ever do it? I certainly hope not. Have I been tempted? Yes. Have I even came close? Yes, too close for comfort. (gun in hand, loaded, hammer back and aimed all be that with snake shot which probably would not have been deadly.)

No, I didn't pull the trigger, but it was a fight not to. Emotions get in the way of logic and, make it really hard to be rational in the least.

[Maverick]

There are a few great things that come with age; we learn from our mistakes, and typically we learn to handle things better.

Not that emotions can't still be strong and take hold, but with age we learn to see the signs and either gain control of the situation, or remove ourselves so we don't do something we'll regret later.

There is something apparent about the phrase "older and wiser"..........

[Person66]

Bowyn is right, we are are all capable of murder under the right circumstances. I just don't understand people who say " I could never kill a person, they're either lying to themselves or just haven't been through the type of situation that drives you insane with: hatred, frustration,etc A quagmire of nasty emotions can set anyone off.
Crimes of Passion are the worst.

I remember when my former girlfriend of over a year gave me all her contact info, left for Texas, kissed me and told me she'd call as soon as she landed. I didn't hear for her for a year, she never came back. She wouldn't take my calls or contact me in any way. I was sick with worry, frustrated and completely devastated. I'd just sit there and listen to Ray Charles "I Can't Stop Loving You" on rotation.
Because there was no malice involved, I gelt no I'll will toward her, but I wanted to kill myself, that's still violence. Thank God I had a very good shrink. It took lot's of therapy.

When my mother got sick, her boss wanted to fire her, simply for being I'll. This woman started a smear campaign against my mother, spreading lies such as her being a drug addict and worse. After she got fired, I really wanted to strangle her boss Ida's scrawny neck, have her die a slow and painful death at my hands.
Two things saved me: we were able to sue her company for damages for a hefty severance package and lifetime healthcare which I can use to, this lead to Ida getting fired herself. My mother recovered and was able to find a job just as good, but Ida is working currently for about half her former salary. This makes me very happy, therapy helped here as well.

Even as a child my paternal grandmother was abusive. She would steal my toys and take them to her home country, stole money from my family, destroyed my once close relationship with my father (he was also to blame) and would hit me with thorn branches (I hit her back ). I was six or seven and I had just lost my beloved maternal grandmother (it's so typical of my life to have one Angelic grandmother and another one who was demonic). As a child I actually looked for ways to poison her. I hope she rots in hell!

These emotions can take hold of you like a death grip and not let go.
Therefor when it comes to crimes of passion, I'm usually for "rehabilitation not retribution".

Note: I do not believe therapy is a panacea, it takes A LOT of work to find a good shrink.