I'm heading into my mid-30s and rolling a few extra pounds on the side. In the end personality beats looks anyday.
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The word "Perfect" has been warped over the years.
Perfect is a word to describe what you see as flawless.
The key word is "you", you define perfection, we all have different idea to what perfect is. My partner doesnt have a "perfect body" but he is perfect to me, and still as sexy and hawt as i could ever dream of.
Only you, yourself can re-define your points of view, and dont get sucked into the model world where they class models as perfect bodies.
If you want bodies like them its seriously easy to achieve, it only takes time, and it doesnt matter how big or small. Its about time and motivation.
Im trying to help Corsac because he wanted to loose weight, but there is one thing i said to him, is i can show him how, but he needs the motivation, the one thing i cant give others, because motivation is a personal thing.
I am a training fitness instructor and so ive come across all kinds of bodies whilst i was training, and thats how come im so open minded on the "perfect body" point of view.
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Bowyn is spot on! If you're 43 and overweight and you go to clubs frequented by the 21-31 year old crowd, all you're doing is feeding your perceptions and self-doubt. Yes, its fun to fantasize about being with a hot, muscled gay man - but that's what porn is for - FANTASY! Now, if you really want to attract a younger, musclular/fit man - then you have two options: 1) Keep going to those clubs and wait till you find the 1 or 2 muscle guys into heavier older men, or 2) change your lifestyle: get to the gym, get in shape, update your hairstyle/clothing, etc - i mean, you know what that crowd finds attractive, so yo'd have to change to adapt.
Or, you can do as other's have posted, and go to places where being older and larger isn't an issue. I've lived in 7 states in my life and in every city i lived in, there were groups/bars/clubs where older/larger men hung out.
All that said, i have to also address the issue of self-pity/loathing among so many of the older/heavier men. They give up on changing their lifestyle. They are attracted to fitter men, but make no REAL effort to get in shape, excercise and change their diet to get fit. Look, if for no other reason than to get healthy, make the decision to become more healthy. Yes, there are men who are attracted to heavy guys, but in the US, the #1 killer of people complications from obesity: High blood pressure, heart attacks, diabeties, strokes, etc.
NO, you don't have to become a muscle stud, but losing weight and getting in shape is good for your mind AND body. It all starts with having a positive self-image, and i know first hand, because i was obese a long time ago.
Some of you may have read my posts in the pasts about how when i came out i was 70lbs overweight. I figured out immediatly that i had let myself go and that i had to change my lifestyle. Yes, part of my motivation was to be able to turn heads at bars and clubs and gay events and to post better pictures on my online profiles, but i also recoginzed that i didn't like my body and wanted to look better to feel better. Now, it took 1 full year (yea, there's no magic pill to lose 30lbs) it took time and effort, but i went from being 5'8" and 210lbs (38"waist) to 5'8"..150lbs...29" waist. I've kept the weight off because i learned how to eat smaller portions, some moderate excercise (i hate teh gym so had to do other things for excercise), and know when to push myself away from the table and make smart diet choices (no more 2 big mac lunches and a bucket of chicken for dinner).
I'm not directing this specifically to Gavjg, but more so to the gay men out there of all ages and sizes, that being fit and healthy is a key part of overall happiness! It's got great side-benefits too...so, just condider your options and go for it. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time and you'll get there - and you'll feel and look better for it!
Oh, and to those who say we should just accept everyone for who they are phycically: BUNK! Our bodies were not designed to carry 30, 40, 50+ pounds of extra weight. Are there medical reasons for being bigger, sure, but 95% of obesity is caused by lifestyle/diet choices. CHOOSE HEALTH!
Sorry for being so abrupt, but i WAS obese and you can do it!
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Gah, that middle aged spread is no fun to fight. I used to be one of those annoying guys that could eat like a horse and, seemed to have a hollow leg and, never gain an ounce. I hit about 35 and I swear that changed over night.
At 40 I was 6-4 290, enough of that, it was literally killing me. I got busy and now, I'm down to 180-190 and maintaining it, so that's good for me - a lot of diet watching and making sure I get enough exercise but I need to do it. I've got enough other things going on with my health that I don't need weight issues too.
As far as anyone else, I think it's a personal choice and, yes I do encourage any partner I have to be healthy, but if they are eating right (except a few guilty treats now and then) and reasonably active, wherever their weight wants to be is fine with me.
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I have been trying to loose weight, And I had lost 60lbs but due to depression I had put about 40lbs back on.
I have been back on a diet for a few weeks or so and nearly lost again 14lbs, But having a few medical problems I cannot walk far or lift very heavy stuff.
I had posted on the mental illness post earlier that I had to make an emergency appointment with my doctor.(Please see this thread if you want to).
As well as very low self confidence and esteem I just feel like I am never going to get there, And at 43 it is only my father who doesn't know about me being gay.
I just want a hug in the times of need and although I am trying my best to improve my lifestyle I just feel am I worth it all ?
Emotions through the roof and because of the urgue to just get away I haven't hardly eaten for 4 days.
I just want a friendship/Partner for who I am and to believe in me
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Im happy with myself - dout many think im handsome or attractive but it doesnt matter.
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can;t even say anything here ...
i am still surprised what the "hot" guys see at me lol
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Whoever said that everyone is attractive to someone else out there in the world is spot on.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What I may find attractive, you may find repugnant. Be happy with yourself and that self-confidence will emanate off you like heat. People pick up and respond to someone who is self-confident (not egocentric mind you lol)
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My apology for bumping an old thread.
Be comfortable with your body in whatever height and size it may be. But always emphasize on having a healthy lifestyle and maintain a healthy body.
Whilst appearance can take you to a certain level. A beautiful personality can take you even further - miles and beyond.
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