Infatuation and love

[redips]

I've been bothered by what's been on my mind lately. And I've decided the simplest way to put it is this:

Is infatuation a necessary condition for a meaningful, loving relationship?

Infatuation is certainly not a sufficient condition. However, do most loving relationships begin with, or involve, at least some level of infatuation?

It seems like many guys who I date are good people. There is nothing not to like about them. I consider them cute and good-looking. And if I try, I can imagine having a relationship with them. But I never get to the point where I feel so strongly about them, that I think about them day and night, or feel my heart miss a beat when I hear their names.

Am I giving up on these people too quickly? Or does it mean that I'm just not really all that attracted to them, and should wait for the right guy to come along?

[Shadow]

I really want to answer this question with a huge, epic post, but to be honest ? It's kinda close to my heart to be able to do so, so I will give you an abridged answer ...

I am a firm believer in the concept of the one. I believe there IS one person out there for everybody and, whilst there may be a great many people that will be able to get to you on a number of levels during the course of your life, there will always be that one person that gets to you like no other ... who you'd honestly, genuinely throw down your life for.

HOWEVER, that isn't to say that you have to wait for the one to show up on their steed before plumping for a relationship, and a great many relationships do function perfectly well, if not in fact EXTREMELY well, because both parties thereto want to make it work, either for their mutual betterment, or because they do love each other ...

So whilst not every relationship is based upon the age-old concept of the one, and whilst I CAN see and do relate to the appeal of waiting for the one to materialise (as it is very much in keeping with my ideals of romance and justice in love), in a great many situations, people either cannot, do not want to, or are simply unable to wait for the one (or there is something wrong with the one in some way), so they feel either motivated or compelled to start looking for love in other ways ...

A healthy, happy, loving and completing relationship can exist even without infatuation or obssession, but I personally think both make the mix that little bit spicier, and HELLISHLY more enticing ...

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Charlieboi81]

While I'm not really sure I'm qualified to answer your question about infatuation, I think that every great love probably starts with some sort of spark. That's not to say that you'll necesarily feel that spark in the beginning of the relationship. I know that after a few months, I suddenly felt a spark when my boyfriend came to visit me while I was away at school. That's when I was certain that our relationship would really work out.

[redips]

Wow, shadow... You know, I've asked this question many times, in many different ways, to many different people. And nobody has ever fully understood my question or what I really wanted to ask.

You did.

You're the best.

-spider

[Shadow]

mile:.

You're welcome babe xx

.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Sui]

A little late for my input, but... Along with what Shadow said (damn good job of putting it into words, by the way) I think the only thing I have to say to it is:

You'll never know until you try.

Kinda awkward coming from the guy who went through more than 10 relationships in a year, but hey... narrowing down does help...