Let's be blunt, someone tell me how to get my boyfriend to have sex with me.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Try small toys first?

[NrtdSandlin]

I would have to say that your boyfriend would have to learn to become comfortable w himself first. He needs to come under a realization that he will be bottoming but he also needs to practice. Bottoming is no swing in the park. It truly takes a lot of effort and its still a difficult thig to do sometimes. Just give him time but cheer him along. Things will get better if you both work on it.

[LateBloomer]

Briefly, you can have a "topping" experience without actually penetrating your partner.

Have him lay down on his stomach, lube up his crack and simply rub your cock up and down his butt. You can get a couple interesting angles and he might even enjoy the sensation as long as he feels sure you're not going to pull a fast one and try to stick it inside.

Best part, no condom required.

[57lambertr]

try about twenty minutes of intense foreplay before you enter, start at the top and lick him all the way down. good sex is mental not physical

[BobInTampa]

Here's my 2 cents worth:

Your boyfriend calls himself "bi" because it's convenient...i say this because every single person i've met or talked to that hates "labels: bi, gay, str8, top, bottom, etc" knows exactly who they are INSIDE but aren't ready to embrace it 100%

I'll cut to the chase: No matter how slow you go, how much lube you use, if he's "clinching" his sphinter, you're NOT going to get in without hurting him. And i'm betting he's clinching because he's afraid if he TRUELY relaxes, he'll find he LOVES bottoming and that must mean he's "gay" and therefor, he has to face a "label" he has fought against for a while.

It's like "str8" guy's who'll mess with guys if there are women around - they get to keep their "hetero" mask on, while enjoying gay sex.

Give it time my friend...he just has to mature into himself.

[BeautifulBlue]

I can really only say two things about your situation:

1. Follow what everyone has been telling you to do. Foreplay (kissing, other stuff, fingering, etc., etc., whatever you like to do.) BEFORE that, though, have him take a shower and finger himself with warm water -- it helps loosen up the muscles. This usually works for me (and the last guy I was with.) And I'm sure you're aware, but lube is king here. Use as much as you need. When he's by himself, have him use a dildo in the shower. It doesn't have to be too long, really -- I'm guessing he's probably getting used to sensation and girth, which even a smaller dildo can help with.

2. He might feel intimidated during sex due to the self-imposed dominance upon him. I'm more submissive in general, but I go with the flow and play off the other guy's body language. Try being really passive and let him lead you along. That might help with that. And remember -- the dom/sub thing is a subjective trait that most guys fall into habit in using. Labels aren't needed. Sex is sex -- it's fun all around.