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Gay and Overweight
#11
LivingProof, I'm not even going to read what my friends here have said or suggested but just give you my two cents' worth. You say you are a Cancerian, which, in my book is one of the signs that is really emotional on the inside and needs to toughen up the outer shell to protect that inside mushiness... Yes, it can be really squidgy.
Our bodies are the vehicle for our dreams, our souls and everything that goes on within us. I'd like to think that you didn't grow overweight by chance but maybe you thought you needed protection and the best way to protect yourself was to grow a thick layer of outer 'skin'. Just like seals grow an outer layer of fat to protect themselves from icy weather.

As you grow older and more ready to accept your inner feelings and desires, so too, are you trying to shed that outer shell, so you can be seen for what you're worth, so that the inside can shine more and be more visible.

All power to you for shedding those 40 lbs and take heart for losing some more. For one thing you'll fell more comfortable with yourself, and you'll also be doing your body a lot of good because you'll be saving your general health as well.

You can't suddenly change a hairy body into something that's totally hairless, naturally, but there's some amount of grooming that you can do to make your appearance look better... a change of clothes, a few items of jewellery if you like them, a haircut, the way your trim (or not) your facial hair... then finally the way you move that body.

Not everyone is into tiny twinks or thin (or muscled) model types. There's probably someone out there for you who'll accept you exactly for what you are.

Keep up the good work, forgive yourself if you slip from time to time, as diets are really hard to keep up. But maybe you'll find that your focus is what makes you strong and what helps you towards your goal. If that focus is a relationship, then I hope the partner you're thinking of is not interested in you for shallow reasons, but because your soul and endeavours match his.
Take care,
PA
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#12
Thank you all! I really am getting a lot of positive feedback and I really appreciate it! And just FYI, the guy I was talking and I are in a relationship now Big Grin
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#13
That's good to hear, you'll do fine Smile Just be you and work on you because you want to, not for anyone else, just for you and, if it pleases your man, all the better, that's a sweet bonus.
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#14
Hey there! Power to you for being able to take your life in your own hands. Like the others have said, if the anyone wants to be in a relationship with you then they like you for who you are. If you want to get healthy awesome! You are who you are and if someone doesn't like it then screw em. You are awesome who you are. If you want any tips for getting healthy like working out or food tips then pm me Smile I may not be great but I love the stuff and I like to help people! I have had issues with loving myself and it is a major turn off for most people when you don't have that self confidence. Love your self and things will come to you Smile Good luck with everything!
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#15
I think it's great that you lost weight, and I would recommend that you try to be all that you can be. Just don't take it to a radical level where you become so fixated on your body/appearance that you stop living a positive, productive life. You got to learn to be happy with you who are. Your body is your body, wether you're buff, skinny or overweight, your body is your body. Learn to love it and be happy.
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#16
I too am overweight and facing the same thoughts as you. I have a complex about myself and don't want anyone to see it. But I have started a diet also and i am down 8 lbs. nothing wrong with losing weight. Just don't get over carried away.
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#17
I think that when a big guy can be comfortable with himself and somehow have that inner confidence, it suddenly elevates them into just about the sexiest damn thing in the world Smile but that's speaking from a bear fan.

I think the only thing that can change your thinking is having more physical affection from your partner. You don't have to jump straight into bed, but sex with someone you love does wonders for your confidence, and being able to please somebody that you care for. That sounds pretty mushy but honestly I was in the same situation and ended up surprised that people thought I was crazy for being so down on myself.

Your boyfriend obviously thinks so ^_^ you could try and see yourself through his eyes. Big guys can seem strong and comforting, and have a kind of power that I wouldn't swap for a whole bunch of twinks. You did well to lose weight too, so if it makes you feel better keep going x
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#18
Congratulations, InTheCloset Losing weight is so damned hard, sometimes... It takes dedication... and hard work. Bravo! Confusedmile:
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#19
i have the opposite problem ~ i'm gay and very very underweight ~
i'm in a relationship at the moment , and i think a big part of us staying together has been because i've learnt to stop hating my body (i don't love it at the moment , but i don't hate it as much as i used to)

i think that it doesn't matter too much what size you are (as long as you at least try and be reasonably healthy , obviously) if you're confident about your body .
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