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The Spanner
#1
Mick was in court for a double murder and the judge said, 'You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner.'

A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, 'You bastard!'

The judge continued, 'You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a spanner.'

Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, 'You bastard!!!'

The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom, and said,'Paddy, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these out bursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt! Now what is the problem?'

Paddy, at the back of the court stood up and responded, 'For fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard. And every time I asked to borrow a spanner, he said he didn't have one!'
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