Should I tell him or wait?!?!

[outthecloset]

Hello all, I am in the closet, obviously. Well I am making steps, small but steps none the less into coming out. I recently told my cousin who is also gay but just by Facebook messages because he lives far away. He is the only person I have told so far. I just need someone to talk to about it. Well I used to be really good friends with this boys several years ago, probly about 10 years. Then he moved away to another town. I haven't seen him since. Recently I find him on FB and add him as a friend. Come to find out he is back in town and is gay. I had no idea when we were friends and he doesn't know I am either, well no one does. I decided I want to get to know him again and eventually tell him about myself but scared. I messaged him the other night asking how he had been and what he's doing these days. We caught up and I asked him "So, did you come out the closet?" I already knew the answer but wanted to hear him say it. He replied yes. I told him about my cousin recently coming out and that it gave me a new perspective of the gay community. He said that was great. And I told him that my cousins parents are very supportive but my parents haven't come around to it. And then I cut the conversation off because i was going to bed and i didn't want to go too far on the first convo. I have waited a few days and I want to message him again. But what do i say...? Think I should take it slow and I can't really have him over to the house much because if my room mate sees him or my parents, what do I say? And keep in mind that I live in a small town.

Sorry for the long story but wanted to make sure I didn't leave anything out. Thanks

[Blue]

Were it me, I'd simply be honest and explain my situation to him, then see where it goes form there. That way maybe he can help come with ideas to keep you safe, offer advice, etc... He can't very well do that if he doesn't know your situation.

[Marc]

If I'm honest, I think you need to be 100% happy with yourself, and that means the hard step of coming out. Not to everybody, I cant ever see the need in shouting about your sexuality, but I mean to your close friends and loved ones.

Whilst you have that worry and stress hanging over you, it wouldn't be fair to start a relationship with anybody, because he would end up feeling like a dirty secret.
Of course there is also the fact that he may not see you in that way aswell.

Life can be so confused, I feel for you.

*hugs*

[outthecloset]

If I'm honest, I think you need to be 100% happy with yourself, and that means the hard step of coming out. Not to everybody, I cant ever see the need in shouting about your sexuality, but I mean to your close friends and loved ones.

Whilst you have that worry and stress hanging over you, it wouldn't be fair to start a relationship with anybody, because he would end up feeling like a dirty secret.
Of course there is also the fact that he may not see you in that way aswell.

Life can be so confused, I feel for you.

*hugs*

I see what your saying and I have no intentions of keeping it a secret friendship/relationship for long. I plan on coming out pretty soon but its just not the right time yet. It's getting close and I know there is never a "right time" but I have to get my finances in order before I take that leap.

[outthecloset]

Were it me, I'd simply be honest and explain my situation to him, then see where it goes form there. That way maybe he can help come with ideas to keep you safe, offer advice, etc... He can't very well do that if he doesn't know your situation.

So you think I should not beat around the bush. Just maybe invite him over, tell him about my situation and hope for the best. I am not looking for a relationship just a friendship but if something happens it happens!

[Blue]

Exactly, if he knows your situation, then he can help you plan things you can do, places you can be together as friends, and he will know to keep the gay under wraps around those you are not out to.

[Rainbowmum]

you have taken the first steps , If you feel comfortable then by all mean go for it.