Found him on a porn site :S

[Yosh89]

Ok so long story short - skip to last paragraph

We had a really intense relationship for 6 months, it ended horribly with him getting thrown in a cell for physically abusing me. I dropped the charges and we kept in contact, but as soon as I started to date other people he didn't like it and said he loved me and wanted to get back together. I didn't do that, but I got very depressed and attempted suicide. I ended up pretty bad, scars down my legs and a (so-far) incurable pain condition called CRPS.

My friends and family have been really supportive, but he wasn't really there for me. He came to visit sometimes and although I made it clear I only wanted friendship, he made advances toward me and I fell for it. I looked on his phone and he was dating another guy even though he said he wanted to be with me.

Didn't talk to him for months, now he's saying he didn't go through with the relationship and thinks about me all the time...

Stupidly I said let's agree to go on a date next year if I'm better. That was yesterday. Today I were looking at some porn sites and a pic of him came up sucking some other guys ****. I can imagine of course he's been doing that, but i can't even look up some porn without seeing my ex whoring himself out?! Would anyone else have a problem seeing their bf/ex on a site? I don't know if I'm over reacting :/

[ChadCoxRox]

over reaction? hmmmm that's a matter of opinion. I say he can kiss my a$$!!!!!!!!!!! but not literally!

You didn't say if you are "better" (surely you are some better at least...hope so!), but if you're even asking about seeing him then that says something right there.

I think you deserve better. Unless you're the type guy who can handle that kind of open, free spirited kind of lifestyle, I say you deserve B.E.T.T.E.R.

Best wishes as you make your way. Hope you'll stay connected here at GS!!!!!

[Blue]

No you aren't overreacting. RUN. Seriously, you don't need someone that does that. As several others here will tell you, his behavior not likely to change.

Could you ever trust him not to cheat or not to become abusive again? (Remember abuse need not be physical.)

Where would that put you if you did go on that date, get together again and he cheated on you or abused you again? Not in a good place I would wager.

Be smart, be safe and take care of you.

[Yosh89]

Thanks Rox

I thought I could handle an open relationship - hell I even suggested it but it just creates distance from within. I start to wonder if I'm better off single long-term, but I just love all the romantic ideas and possibilities in a relationship

O well; thanks for replying

[Miles]

From what you've posted I see no good reason why you should even have any further contact with this guy let alone giving him another shot at a relationship. You can still have romance and possibilities with someone who won't abuse you and leave you in chronic pain and string you along and ruin your ability to watch porn.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I'm sorry, did I read write, this guy abused you and you are inviting him to hang around?

What the f**k is wrong with YOU???

Drop this guy (preferably at the deep end of Lake Mead - not too close to the dam, don't want to break the turbines).

Don't let him to sniff around, don't give him hope for a future. Don't try to be his friend - he doesn't want you as a friend, he wants you as a person to control and use as a punching bag.

You are doing the typical victim routine, allowing the abuser to come back and abuse you over and over and over again. Stop it. You are better than that.

Open relationships when you are hardwired for monogamy DO NOT work. Ever.

Get rid of this guy as soon as you can, find a real man who will love you, care for you and treat you like the person you really are. They exist, its hard to find them.

As for seeing an ex on a porn site... Well that tells you the class of person you are dealing with now doesn't it?

[Pix]

He's abusive and has other problems so I'd stay far away from someone like that. The porn (at least as a past thing) doesn't bother me as long as he's careful (though other factors like lack of impulse control suggest he's not) and I would insist on a STD test.

However, if I enjoyed looking at porn I might give him a thank you note for making my enjoyment possible to go with the restraining order. But then I don't get porn and I'm starting to assume part of the appeal is to look down on those in it.

[JisthenewK]

I would not stay with someone like that! I think you should stay away from him!

[zeon]

3 special words mister

DITCH DA BITCH XXX

id do that u r not a puppet ur a human with feelings if he cant accept that he isnt worth shit to be honest xxx *hugz*

[LateBloomer]

For the love of GOD!

<deep breath>

Everything has already been said that needs to be said.

Seriously. Get on with your life--without this parasite.