So I talked to him tonight and I told him that if I was being too needy or to pushy that I was sorry and that I didn't want to do anything to push him away or lose him. His response was he had just been busy and stressed out. But then he came back with, "I think we need a break in the relationship."
He told me that his focus right now is school and his career and that he felt like he was just stringing me along. I did everything I could to convince him that it wasn't like that and that no matter what I would wait for him no matter how long it takes. But he just kept insisting that it wasn't fair for me to do that.
He said that he would always love me and that he would always be there for me, but that he didn't want me waisting my life waiting on him. That he wanted to "chase his dream" and he wanted me to chase mine as well.
What a fool I've been, thinking that some 19 year old kid could ever love me the way I love him. This is exactly why I don't let my walls come down. Every time I do I end up getting hurt. I should have known this could never work out. What was I thinking?
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Arch you have not been a fool.
I really think he thinks , is that he is leading you and it's not fair on either of you.
A relationships take a lot of time and sacrifice to maintain, right now he just can't afford to invest that time into it.
When someone feels guilty for not being able to give something their all , them both parties suffer.
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I'm sorry man. Yeah I'm sure his maturity and limited (compared to you) life experience is playing a big role. It sounds like he has chosen a path many young people choose, education and career before a relationship.
As hard as it is to accept right now, I think he did the right thing in not asking you to wait on the sidelines while he reached for his primary goals.
Take some time, get used to being single, you basically went straight from your ex wife to this young man. Yes I know it was over with your wife, but she was still in the picture. So take time to just be you for a while. In time you'll be truly ready to move on, and find the right guy.
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arch, how would you have known it would have ended like this if you didn't let your walls down?
If you had left the walls up you could have missed a great opportunty.
If you left your walls up you wouldn't have experinced the most wonderful in life....LOVE.
You have to live to experience life and all it's pleasures. Unfortunately some of lifes pleasures come with a cost, but the cost of a break up is nothing compared to the love you have given, and the love you have recieved in return.
Leave those walls down, grieve and then get right back on that horse. It's far better to have loved and lost to never have loved.
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I'm not sure it was worth it. Pretty much I got "friendzoned" and it fucking sucks!!
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The fragile glass of love has been shattered. But it is not to say that it is lost forever. Love is infinite. Love recycles itself and imbues itself in your friends-family- and peers. It will mend itself. You will mend. And it will reconstruct itself in another. But i assure you. The fragility is impenetrable if you and the other put hard work into it. Move on. Shove your effort into the next one. Don't cry anymore tears. Love is infinite. Be strong.
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I don't think I'll ever let anyone in like that again. It hurts to much when something like this happens and I can't take being hurt anymore.
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They say, time heals all wounds.
I say, you need to find someone who's on a similar "trajectory". They are usually close to your age +/- 10 years, similar backgrounds, similar interests. These people usually make good partners. Because ultimately, that's what you need. An equal; a co-star; someone to balance you.
If you pick someone who is incompatible (someone on a different trajectory) then you'll never walk together for long.
Good luck.
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That's just it! I thought we were in the same trajectory! Sure he is younger than me by 15 years but that didn't matter to me and I thought it didn't matter to him either. I just keep playing everything over and over in my head. All the things we said, the place we went, the things we did, trying to figure out where it all went wrong. And the crazy thing about it all is, no matter how bad I want to, I can't hate him for this! And that makes it even worse!
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This is why I don't let my walls come down!!
