Why is my boyfriend so uptight?

[LovelySkyy]

And I don't understand why! He has had sex with MANY guys, and done many, pretty hot things. He's had 2 dicks in his ass at once. Hes been in orgies. All that good stuff lol...

However, I didnt lose my virginity till I was 19 and Ive only messed around with 4 people, 2 of which there were no penetration.

He says that Im sick and nasty for wanting to masturbate or watch a little porn now and then. Or, Ill tell him my fantasies about him and other guys because it turns me on. For instance, when he's blowing me, Ill sometimes use the heel of my foot and talk push on his ass hole and tell him that theres a fat cock in his ass and that he's got a pretty mouth. He moans and he LOVES IT. I know he wants to fuck around like that.
We've been together for 3 years, so things are getting a little 'eh'. Lazy sex, I guess you could say. Its good, but just kinda lazy.

Why doesnt he want to broaden his horizons a little WITH me? Is he afraid Ill leave him for the other guy? He's told me before that we could have a threesome but the other guy wouldnt be allowed to touch me. :Like, thats not fair! lol

And see, I just got hard typing this out. Im ready to explode. I want to sexually adventurous BUT SAFE about it, WITH him. It would make me feel safer if he did some things with me.

I got him to watch porn with me one time and ride my dick, but the next day come to find out, he was going to move back out of state! (which he never did, it was almost like his one last good deed before he dropped the news that he was going to leave..)

I dont know. What do you guys think?

[Pix]

Just going by this and thinking of people I've come across I'd guess he's insecure and feeling guilt at his indulgences. By calling people who masturbate and into porn "sick" (assuming he didn't mean that as a compliment of course ) then he can feel better about himself.

But another possibility may be that he sees a difference between a relationship and sex. Things like orgies and threesomes are generally for singles, or so it seems to me (granted, swingers and polyamory exist, but that seems to work by different rules than "getting a guest star"). Such sex normally doesn't mean anything, but sex in a relationship does, and to share that with a stranger devalues it for some people, like if you were to get a tattoo together and then got the same tattoo with someone else, it's not longer special, it's no longer purely his. And then there's the question he may ask of why isn't he enough? And if he is enough then why the porn and desire for another? If he's not enough then what's wrong with him?

Anyway, those are possibilities that occur to me.

[Rainbowmum]

Welcome back sweetie.


I agree with Pix.
Three years is nothing to scoff at , you are in a relationship with him , and no doubt he loves you.
Playing the field without inhibition is completely different to being in a long term relationship.
You mean more to him thank wild sex.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I think he is afraid that you may get harmed (pick up HIV or something) and he may have a sincere desire for a monogamous relationship.

We humans do monogamy not because it is easy, or in our nature - we do it because its not easy and not in our nature, thus it becomes a very important demonstration of our devotion to a person.

Its is a demonstration of love when we make this sacrifice to be true... I think this may actually be more so for him giving his experiences.

You are not 'just sex' with him, you are more important than that.

[LateBloomer]

Great answers from some of the wisest GS members.

Nothing to add.

[michaelson]

Boring sex is sorta a given in long term relationships. He almost sounds protective of you.

[ZackT]

This isn't really helpful, but I'd like to mention - The thought of having 2 cocks up my ass is a thrilling idea. Doubtful I'd ever experience it, but hey, I like the thought of it nonetheless.