When and who should you tell?

[KoriBelle]

Hey, I'm Kori
I'm bi sexual and have told my close friends but I am worried about when I should tell my family. My grandma is very against gay tendencies, the rest of my family is okay with it, not super supportive. What do I do?

[Pix]

Hi, welcome to GS.

That depends entirely on your circumstances. Is there a reason why you should tell them? For example, do you live in the same town and openly date women? If so then it might be best they hear it from you rather than find out on their own. OTOH, if they're not likely to find out and don't want to know then maybe it's best to let them enjoy the bliss of ignorance, especially if you depend on them financially (and more so if they might become violent). Of course secrecy can create walls and if a woman becomes an important part of your romantic life then you may find it hard to share what's going on with them (and may have to watch pronouns, redecorate for being visited, possibly a surprise visit, etc)...but then maybe you don't have much to do with them anyway so that such is not that much of a concern.

ETA: some parents are hurt when their kids don't tell them as they feel that they weren't trusted and were kept at a distance. OTOH, other parents feel that their kids are hateful (or at least selfish) for having told them. I would guess yours are more the former than the latter. And maybe your parents can advise your on your granny.

[SadSilence]

Start small, and work your way up. You'll probably evetually feel so suffocated by keeping it a secret that you will tell everyone and won't really care. At least it was that way for me but everyone is different. You'll know when the time is right

Welcome to GS

[outthecloset]

Hello again Koribelle. It is really up to you as to when. I have to find out that there is no right time. Just go with it.

[Rainbowmum]

Hello Koribelle

Keep life simple for now, no rush , when you can support yourself , you can tell everyone.
Do not put so much pressure on yourself.

[dfiant]

G Day Kori and welcome to Gayspeak...follow your gut on when and who you come out to, no need to rush as you will instinctively know when the time is right

[Bricg1970]

There is no rush, one thing you may do with the family is wait for the right moment when you feel more confident and open to talk to them, be compassionate and understanding with them. Good Luck

[Dan1980]

Hi welcome to GaySpeak. Tell your family when your ready and you think the time is right.