I just need to say this to someone

[xboxfan34]

I don't even know where to begin, Okay. I am a 17 year old guy that is beginning to come to terms with the fact that he is gay. I've known I'm gay basically since I hit puberty. I remember when it first hit me that I wasn't straight was when I was 12 years old when I learned what "speedos" were. And also I didn't feel that special magnitism with me and girls, but I felt it with guys.
Freshman year of high school was when the confusion set in. I will admit that there were some girls I thought were really pretty, but I just wansn't attracted to them. And I admit that I had a little bit of a "crush" on my global history teacher. He was kind of a medium-sized fellow about 5'6. And I felt that he unitentionally made himself extremley homoerotic. He wore a long sleeved shirt and tie, but he also would wear extremley tight khaki pants. And let me tell you something, he had an amazing ass! It was just so round and muscular. And there are times where I would just stare at his ass and try if I can see his underwear line That teacher also coached baseball and there was one time I remember where I could swear that I saw the unmistakeable outline of a jockstrap whether he actually wore one or if it was a product of my imagination/wishful thinking I don't know. Sadly though, the man was as straight as 180 degrees. He was happily married to a woman and halfway through the year, he celebrated the birth of his first child. Also, his political views were pretty right wing so I don't think he was that fond of gays

I am also probably the least stereotypical gay person I have ever met. I don't wear pink, I don't dress like a girl, I dont say everything's "fabulous" I don't listen to Euro-Pop but if you look at the content I look at, there's no mistaking I am a homosexual. I've found myself pretty intriuged with the "bear" subculture of LGBT culture . Usually a picture of a muscle bear in a speedo or revealing underwear is enough to give me a stiff proposition. And one day I hope to have a boyfriend thats muscular,handsome older and more mature than me. Someone that will be by my side, and will be with me through thick and thin. But the sad part is, I don't think anyone can teach me how to be gay. I feel it would be pretty akward if I walked into a gay bar right now as a teenage kid and went up to a brawny bear and told him "can I have a night of hot, steamy passion with you?" (I look at all of the Lgbt youth that would give anything to be straight and I want to learn how to embrace who I am, talk about ironic)

Also, I'm still closeted. I just don't feel like now is the time to reveal who I am. My parents even though they taught me about God and Jesus are actually rather irreligious even though they believe in God. So they probably wouldn't give a soaring rats ass in space if I was gay. Also I would probably find myself in the Spiritual But Not Religious category. I believe in a higher power, I believe in an afterlife, but after how religion has treated us gays. I don't want to follow it anymore.

So there you go, that was about 4 years in the making I will definetly post here again if I have something to say!

[pellaz]

welcome to gs

[dfiant]

G Day and welcome to Gayspeak.

First of all your story is not and unusual one, infact I would say a majority of guys here would identify with what you are going through and what you have been through until this point 100%, I know I can.

I was 11 when I realised from experimentation that I am not straight, I was 12 when I fell in love with another boy and had a relationship.

I also look back in retrospect and see some of my behaviours as a sign of things to come. For example, I vividly remember crushing on a boy who played soccer and worse tight shorts and had the sexiest legs when I was 8 years old. I used to sit directly opposite him so that I could see up the legs of his shorts.

This habit repeated itself many times when I was a boy, crushing on other boys...but never ever crushed on a girl, was never interested in looking up their skirts or anything like that, but like you, there were girls that I would call pretty.

As far as coming out goes, there isn't a rush to do so, so don't feel pressure from others. Your heart will let you know when the time is right, the same way as it would appear it is letting you know that the time is not quiet right.

Good luck and I hope you enjoy your time here ;-)

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Welcome to Gayspeak XBoxfan (Have you played the new Halo yet?)

Just because your gay, don't think that you have to conform to the stereotypical picture that most straight people have about how LGBT people look and act. There are plenty of people who are gay and you would never know it to look at - I was 20 years in the military and believe me, I don't "look" gay at all LoL. There are times when I wished I did thought ;-)

For now, the fact that you have accepted who you are is a huge step so well done you. Lots of us have "types" of guys (or girls) we like and sometimes our tastes mature as we get older. There are plenty of folks on here who can offer advice in that department, so feel free to ask any questions you might have.

Welcome to the family!



ObW

[Rainbowmum]

Hello and

[Beaux]

Hi and Welcome!
I think that you will find that there are actually very few of us that fit the stereotype. We are as different, unique and diverse as any other segment of society (if not more so!).
Good luck!

[Rawr]

Welcome to the forum

[Blue]

Hmm, drives a semi or pick-up with Ruger emblems on it, likes hunting and fishing and country music, wears faded blue jeans, cowboy boots and buckskin jackets. Builds houses and boats, really does not like pink or lavender at all - nope not gay, except I am.

The stereotype is a small minority, we are as individual and diverse as any other group.

Welcome to GS.

[Dan1980]

Hi welcome to GaySpeak.

[princealbertofb]

XBoxFan, to GaySpeak. You've made a splendid first post; one that doesn't require further questioning, at least for the moment, lol. I'm glad you're coming to terms with being gay. It is easier for the younger generations of today, but it's still quite a hot issue in the States. Fortunately for you, you are from New York (state or city?) and therefore you can enjoy the right to marry, which is far from being the case at the moment for all American citizens. Mind you, we, in France, are still waiting for something to happen with the equality legislation, something that our new president also promised the gay community. I hope it happens sooner than later. Take care, young one, and enjoy the lively community of members on GaySpeak.