I am an idiot!

[Rumble88]

Hi guys, been a while since i last posted something. But something new happened. And yes i am a huge idiot. My ''best'' friends (2 girls) was pushing me to get a girl friend for a long time. They thought i was too shy to ask someone. And its really hard for me. Whenever i see a couple outside i feel bad for the things i lose. I would love to have a wife and have children. I'm not socially normal and i don't support it either. Everybody has their own choices, personalities and things they like. Being ordinary is not a great thing. But in some ways i would love to be normal (straight).
They really pushed hard me to get a girl friend. So today, when we went outside to have fun; i told them I'm gay and i wanted them to stop pushing me about relationships. They said ''its something you choose to be. You can be normal if you want to'' and things like ''how can we fix you?''. I felt so disappointed. I didn't really expected much but when they started to mock me i wished i didn't said it. I think im gonna pay for my foolishness in the next few days (in the school).
The reason i wrote this in here is because i NEED someone to help me. I may have asked this before (i can't say i remember:/) but i really need someone to guide me. I'm in a health profession high school. And in my country gays are not really.. comfertable. Actually i haven't seen any gay yet. I'm muslim but the problem isn't about religion, its about people. I feel like im stuck in here. I want to go to (health) college in England, America, Austuralia or Canada but i don't know how. Please tell me what to do and how can i go to somewhere where i can be myself. I really want to find someone who i can live happily ever after with.

[pellaz]

you as a straight; you try to raise a family and you will be sorry. Everyone; wife and children will be sorry too. if you are a kind man dont do it.

[Dreamer]

Hi guys, been a while since i last posted something. But something new happened. And yes i am a huge idiot. My ''best'' friends (2 girls) was pushing me to get a girl friend for a long time. They thought i was too shy to ask someone. And its really hard for me. Whenever i see a couple outside i feel bad for the things i lose. I would love to have a wife and have children. I'm not socially normal and i don't support it either. Everybody has their own choices, personalities and things they like. Being ordinary is not a great think. But in some ways i would love to be normal (straight).
They really pushed hard me to get a girl friend. So today, when we went outside to have fun; i told them I'm gay and i wanted them to stop pushing me about relationships. They said ''its something you choose to be. You can be normal if you want to'' and things like ''how can we fix you?''. I felt so disappointed. I didn't really expected much but when they started to mock me i wished i didn't said it. I think im gonna pay my foolishness in the next few days (in the school).
The reason i wrote this in here is because i NEED someone to help me. I may have asked this before (i can't say i remember:/) but i really need someone to guide me. I'm in a health profession high school. And in my country gays are not really.. comfertable. Actually i haven't seen any gay yet. I'm muslim but the problem isn't about religion, its about people. I feel like im stuck in here. I want to go to (health) college in England, America, Austuralia or Canada but i don't know how. Please tell me what to do and how can i go to somewhere where i can be myself. I really want to find someone who i can live happily ever after with.

You need new friends... ones that will accept you for you, and not prey on your insecurities by trying to convert you... it's not right. You can't change your sexual orientation no matter how hard you try, and despite if the whole universe pressured you with thoughts that are totally inaccurate.

Straight people don't became gay, they were always straight, and the same lies with you. You're gay, and there's no type of therapy in the world that can change that, much less others forcing relations with women on yourself. BAD IDEA.

You need to accept your sexuality for what it is, I, like so many others, have rode down that road of denial, and false hopes of becoming straight due to the hostile environment and upbringing we've had, as well as the well-meaning friends or family that are extremely unknowing of the damage that can cause like self-hatred, depression, or suicide..

Meanwhile, I urge you to keep posting on here more regularly as a means of venting and gaining knowledge about what it means to be gay, as well as learning to accept and maybe even embrace it!

I know Turkey is ultra-conservative, but there has to be like-minded (gay) people you can confide in, and potentially befriend. Check out online, and be careful... I know it can be dangerous.

As far as relocating, that's a great idea! England, America, Australia, and Canada are very gay-friendly compared to where you live. Try to sign up with an foreign exchange program so that you may still continue your studies, while leaving the lonely circumstance you're in right now.

Find out how to get your visa, and passport to travel abroad. Closer is better, so I'd recommend anywhere in Europe. That way you could still come back home to visit family and friends.

Warmest Regards, and good luck!

[Rumble88]

It was already hard to tell someone who i felt close and knew for few years. Even if i can find that kind of friends i don't think i can be able to feel okay when talking about it. I am really glad to find this site. This is the only place where i can talk about it.

[Rainbowmum]

Sweetie I know you want to be yourself , but you are so very young ,you may have to bite the bullet on this one,and wait for your turn.
Stay at school, get good grades and ask your parents to send you overseas to a college of your choice.

As for what you told your friends , that cannot be unspoken.
It's as difficult as trying to put toothpaste back in the tube.

Your friends have also been brainwashed to believe that being gay is a choice.
It's not , nor is being straight normal, nature is normal and so very many animals are bi.
Find some new friends that will support you.

Wr are all here for you.

[Rumble88]

I can wait for two more years but i can't live here for the rest of my life. Its like im in a dark tunnel. If i can see the light at the end of it, i can run to it. But its pitch black now. And its so cold. I am paralyzed because of the fear i feel about concrete monsters who accuses me by being wrong.

[Mrmatty77]

Awww, things will get better. Like everything and everyone, we all go through a long time in hard stuff that we cant get through easily, but life will fix itself and your part is to hold on and fight through it for now until you are able to make the decisions that will allow you to do or be who or what you want. Each and every one of us has a struggle we're going through, you're not alone, just stay strong. I know i'm sounding cheesy and cliche, but it's all I have to give and it sucks knowing that you're going through stuff like this. Hang in there bud.

[Rumble88]

Thank you guys

[Jay]

I can wait for two more years but i can't live here for the rest of my life. Its like im in a dark tunnel. If i can see the light at the end of it, i can run to it. But its pitch black now. And its so cold. I am paralyzed because of the fear i feel about concrete monsters who accuses me by being wrong.

That's why education is crucial. You can use it as a ticket to escape from Turkey.

I suggest you to be patient and stay 'low profile' for now. Don't be hasty to come out as one wrong step can lead to a regret. Do your best to plan two steps ahead for your future. Study smart and create a blue print.

I came out late, which was on 2009. I only came out after I have cemented a solid career and finance. So if my family disown me (Touch wood) or such, I can survive independently.

[Rumble88]

My family already knows and i have no concern about being disowned. and i feel so sorry for you about it, i would like to give you a big, warm and comforting hug. and i am not scared of society either. i mean it would be awfull but im not scared from them. but i am scared of living alone. i really want to taste the love and have kids. i can't have those things in here, thats why i want to go to another country.