So the problem is my dad has been going to dialysis for almost a year because of end stage renal failure and basically all its doing is keeping him alive, but not reversing any of his symptoms. He's swollen all over, has fluid in his lungs and coughs until he nearly chokes and his testicles have swollen to the size of tangerines which makes sitting down for him almost unbearable. On top of that he's diabetic, in remission from colon cancer, has had triple bypass on his heart and literally takes a shot glass full of pills every morning plus pills throughout the rest of the day.
He has four or five doctors and none of them have been able to do anything other than just keep him alive rather than fixing whats wrong. The only time he leaves the house is to go to a doctor appointment. I've suggested he go to Vanderbilt in TN (we live in west ky and the doctors here arent exactly A grade) but he refuses.
My question is have any of you been through anything like this yourself or know someone who has that could offer suggestions about a treatment plan that helped so I could suggest it to one of his doctors?
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I am sorry to hear he suffers from so much. My heart goes out to him.
Renal failure, bad ticker, diabetes and in remission from colon cancer. These are pretty major by themselves, together it is a wonder he is still alive.
In the middle of the last century he most likely wouldn't have survived all of that. He is only alive because of the advances of medicine over the past 50-80 years.
I doubt his doctors are idiots. With a team of 4-5 doctors it sounds like your father is getting the best medical care available.
I fear he may have come to the point where all they can do is try to treat the symptoms and sustain life for as long as possible and try to ease his pain.
I would strongly suggest you and him have a heart to heart talk and discuss his take on quality of life over quantity of life. It sounds to me the quality of his life is pretty low, thus is it worth the time and effort to extend that life? Surely he has strong feelings on the matter and must have a point where he decides that concluding life is better than trying to get one more day.
That should be a matter of his choice and I would hope you wouldn't be too selfish and demand more time from him.
Renal failure is a big deal, is he on the organ list? Does he even qualify with these other medical conditions? Or is it time that you need to face the reality that while his will may be strong his body is unable to continue much further?
I take it his refusal to go to Tennessee has more to do with his having reached some sort of agreement with himself on how much he is willing to do to try to get more time.
In all honesty, most people who are very sick like this reach a point where they serenely acknowledge that quality of life is far more important than living another day.
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Very sad. I would think his doctors are doing all they possibly can.
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I can't give you any specific advice on the matter of medical propositions, though my thoughts are with you, and I hope that you continue to do everything in your power to be there for him, and comfort him in these wretched times. I'm sure you are, as you sound like a good son.
I can't fathom what you are going through, as I've never had a parent, thus far, endure such things, although when it comes to people I knew (friends and so forth), it's become a sad part of reality.
Best I could say is RESEARCH, research, research! The internet doesn't get enough credit for the valuable treasures hidden online!
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"glass full of pills every morning"
Thats scary. Doctors don't even know how those different medicines react with each others. Strenght to both you and your father!
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I'm sorry your father is having to deal with all of that. It sounds like you are doing a good job of being a positive, supportive son.
As hard as it may be, the best treatment is going to be the treatment he chooses for himself. All you can do is research it, present the info to your father and, let him decided what is best for him. Allow him to choose quality of life of quantity of time he has left, support his choices and help him stay as independent as possible for as long as possible given his choices.
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Dialysis doesn't "improve" kidney function, and with his other conditions, it sounds unlikely that his kidneys will regain function. Swelling is not always water retention, either, but if he is following his fluid restrictions and dietary limits, something else is going on.
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