Has anyone felt like a pervert?

[Anonymous]

Has anyone felt like a pervert, creep, freak or disgusting for being gay? I mean I've tried to come out for some time, but I guess my guts wont let me... Although I know its not the same and I do not wish to insult, but well I feel like if I was some kind of pedophile. It's hard to explain really... perhaps it's just my fears that is coming up with excuses...

[Mrmatty77]

Not so much a pervert or a creep. Freak and disgusting yes, but mainly due to the fact that everyone I'm around is strictly straight and like to make rude comments about anyone who is otherwise. It's the main reason why I'm closeted. It's hard for me to make friends as it is, why add something to it? Just insecurity.

Not quite sure what you mean by a pedophile, I kinda do, but I'll stick with the "I dont". Anywho, it's hard to go around liking what you like when the majority cast down so much hatred onto whoever lives differently or believes differently. Take the time to be comfortable with yourself before you think about "coming out". Honestly, I don't believe in the whole coming out thing. Straight people don't "come out". They like a girl/boy and go on with it. They don't announce to their family in a detailed disscussion that they like the opposite sex and would like them to approve of it. Just go about life as you may and fall in love with whoever you love. Labels are just a think that people put on each other to make themselves feel superior and segregate, they define so little of who we actually are.

Don't feel bad for liking someone of the same gender. Some people like their tea sweetened, some like it bitter, some don't give a shit. Never have we once divided people for liking different types of tea, why should it be different for anything else? Unless, of course, its an immoral subject, which isn't the case here, but you know what I mean, hopefully.

Just be yourself and find comfort in your skin. You're not the only who faces this problem, so don't single yourself out. Find people who understand and are willing to help you through your troubles. Sometimes it takes a little help from a loved one. Don't be afraid to message some of us on here if you have problems, I'm always open to those who need help or an ear to hear them out.

Hopefully I shed some light your way. Don't feel too bad. Keep moving forward and you'll be fine.

[fenris]

I think in your case the anti-gay-propaganda has worked very well. Being gay or being pedophile are two complete different things. Nobody would name a straight guy pedophile just because a few of them are pedophiles ... or nobody would call all priest as pedophile just because a few of them are... same with teachers ... or scout-leaders..and and and ...
You are gay .... thats all ... nothing more...nothing to shame about ... you have to learn that gay people are like straight people...they only love the same gender not more, not less.

[brituc1]

I think I can relate. I grew up in a Christian household in a small town where gays used to be condemned pretty harshly. I started realizing I liked guys around the same time I stopped believing in Christianity or any other religion (which was when I was 14). I felt pretty horrible about myself for a long time because as you can imagine, having these types of feelings combined with teenage angst are a very nasty combo. But as I got a little older I adjusted to who I was and finally accepted it. It's tough at first to feel so differently about your sexuality as most other people around you feel. As much as people deny it, it's scary as hell to be different and I think deep down we wanna be the same as everyone else and fit in. But once you accept your feelings you'll find it's way more freeing to be yourself than trying to be something your not. I hope this helps

[bluefox4000]

Yes....but it had nothing to do with being bi.

Mick

[Geminize]

I agree 100% with Matty and Fen. I suspect you have two things going on: 1) You have been affected by the anti-gay bias / stereotypes of other people; 2) Your own fears are coming up with excuses, as you suggested.

Either way, just look yourself in the mirror and ask if you are a perv, creep, freak, or disgusting. The answer is no for me. I understand where your fears are coming from, though. I have a teenage son, and he frequently has sleep-overs with his friends at my house. When they learn I'm bisexual, will they (or their parents) feel ok about spending the night? I don't know, but that's my own fear.

[megumidesu]

or nobody would call all priest as pedophile just because a few of them are...

actually , a lot of people do call all priests pedophiles ...

[Pix]

actually , a lot of people do call all priests pedophiles ...

At least in my observation most people don't think all priests are pedophiles, but they (and myself) DO take exception that the church as a whole aids & abets them, facilitating the abuse. I even know one guy who tried to track down a priest to thank him and the churches wouldn't let him know where he was apparently "just in case."

Not that they all do. For examples, some nuns made this to warn children about dangers...

http://www.boolean-union.com/Chick/SafeC...tholic.htm

and snuck this past the censors:



I'd laugh if this wasn't so necessary...

[Pix]

Has anyone felt like a pervert, creep, freak or disgusting for being gay? I mean I've tried to come out for some time, but I guess my guts wont let me... Although I know its not the same and I do not wish to insult, but well I feel like if I was some kind of pedophile. It's hard to explain really... perhaps it's just my fears that is coming up with excuses...

I can't say I can relate, but maybe I can say one thing that might be helpful...

When I was a runaway there were many men who molested kids (most at least paid money in the standard prostitution way though not always), and it seemed the men who preferred boys were almost as infinite as those who preferred girls (likewise plenty of boys & girls both were fleeing sexual abuse, either from a male relative and/or a vile mother that allowed men to have sex with the child in exchange for money, drugs, etc). And BOTH gays AND straights despised those perverts and I never associated gays with the perverts cruising for underage boys than I did hets with those cruising for underage girls.

Even more interesting, I was waiting at a grocery cafe along with other runaways waiting for a scam to go down (we'd get in place and wait for a distraction, preferably a black guy about 18 or at least lived in the area, who'd make a major scene and while that was going on we'd go on a major shoplifting spree and then share what we got with the distraction, though we sometimes had to wait a few hours for him to get out of jail) and I saw many of the johns together and unlike gays & straights they didn't dislike each other for their gender preferences but rather saw themselves as kindred spirits persecuted by puritans (they had some warped beliefs, like that EVERY man who was honest with himself preferred kids, and also that we kids ran away from home ONLY because we wanted to have sex with them, seriously that guy was angry that he had to pay for sex), but then they all knew the sting of being condemned by gay & straight society both so maybe it made sense for them to band together.

And there were gays among us as well, kids who either got kicked out of their homes or were fleeing "gay therapy" and we never associated them with the perverts. And I felt as sorry for the gay boys turning tricks as I did the straight girls. And one boy (17, pretty much grown up physically, though he had brain damage from past head trauma) had a gay guy we called "Sissy" (fairly masculine in appearance if on the small, skinny side but very feminine otherwise, though he once stopped us from attacking a gay basher that punched him in the face so it wasn't like he was a total sissy as he rolled with the punch and kept going) and we all tolerated him and despite his being an adult we accepted him as one of us (at least he was welcome among us, he wasn't "one of them"). My heart would soar listening to him comfort his boyfriend in our krew, that was love, and while they both had sad life stories they had something beautiful with each other and in no way did I associate Sissy with the men who preyed on us underage girls & boys.

[Rainbowmum]

Sweetie you are not a freak , creep or damaged , you are a victim of years of society brain washing.
People do not stop and look around to see that most animals are bisexual.

They believe the bovine scat that was fed to them by society and is now being fed to you.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Come out when you are ready not when you feel pressured.