Hey guys and gals...
So ive basically found myself to be in a little dilemma.
My partner raised some concerns the other night after we finished having sex and one of them which im having problems with is im apparently not vocal enough.
He apparently wants me to become a lot sluttier, when im bottoming.
Now this is where im confused I just dont know what to say, its really got me stuck.
so im looking for some advice on what to say, i mean some of you have been around a lot longer than i have and i was/am pretty sheltered.
Ive been watching porn and have picked up a few things from there...But would like to hear some ideas from you guys.
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It's tough being stumped for conversation anytime, especially during sex, lol! Porn's a good idea though to pick some stuff up. I wouldn't ask him what he wants you to say though because then whatever you say would feel generic & probably take you both outta the mood. Try & think of it as art, get creative & say what you think will get him going. Just make sure you don't go overboard, it's easy to transition from sexy to weird and uncomfortable. And of course tone is key. Anything you say will be pointless if it sounds like Ben Stein is the one saying it.
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Oh, oh, yeah oh yeah. Oh God Yeah. More, more, harder, faster Oh yeah!!!
That's pretty much the vocal aspects of the event.
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Call him names, but no proper ones other than his own!!
I like hearing 'fucker', 'you big fucker you like that don't you?', 'that feels like the first time again don't it fucker?', 'givin' it like a hot fucker badass,' 'what does that feel like?,' 'you wanna have some more fun?'
I LOVE Brituc's suggestion of slipping into a role and playing it out with a little dialogue. Be prepared to play it out with no other participation and bring no expectations other than to be playful and sexy.
Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!
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Just make your face look sluttier by opening your mouth and making slutty facial expression. Moan as much as you can. Moan like it feels like heaven. But dont make it exaggerated. Also, when youre bottoming, dont be too stiff, you can move and grind your ass on him. Depending on the sexual position, you can also pinch his nipples while riding him or put your fingers into his mouth. Actually the sluttiness comes out naturally if you're sex drive is really high.
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At the same time, Varanus, I think he shouldn't be expecting you to do stuff that doesn't come naturally and I guess you could discuss it. It's OK if you're happy to play with it and go with his choice of dirty words and encouragement, but life isn't a porn movie and he needs to understand that. Actors in porn movie overact it all. They are requested to make it noisy. That's because porn is only visual and it has to compensate what you're not feeling inside your body by things that you can hear and see (which also explains why ejaculations are shown outside the body and not left to finish inside the bottoming partner). It would not be enough to stimulate the imagination if no ejaculation was shown or if there were not vocal encouragements. But that's just porn. We're talking about real life sensations here. We don't have to imitate porn for the sex to be good.
Maybe he's sensing that you're not getting as much enjoyment out of bottoming as he's hoping. Now why is that? Are you enjoying it? Are you just doing it to please him? Maybe there is more to it than just shouts and cries of joy, or of pleasure.
Has your partner ever bottomed himself? Does he know what it feels like? Does he realise that it could also be quite boring to some? Is it boring to you? Does it get tedious after a while? Are there other things that you could do in foreplay that would enhance the experience for him or for you? Are you just a quiet person? Maybe he should learn to accept the sort of person you are vocally (or non verbally). But there is surely a middle ground of compromise that you can reach if both are making the efforts to understand the other's needs.
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A little advice would go a long way.
