Not angry anymore

[Chuck92]

So since coming out to myself, my wife and a couple other people....and now having a boyfriend.... I've noticed that my anger has disappeared.... I like the feeling of it but I'm worried that it might come back one day. I fear for that day.


What could I do to make sure it doesn't happen or do to handle it in a better way.


Advice will be accepted.


Chuck

[Counselor]

I used to have bouts of anger that scared my ex-wife, anger brought on by frustration of not bring able to be honest, and I've found a lot (A LOT) of relief in just being able to talk about my sexuality in present terms, not just masked hypotheticals. I also decided not to lie if I was asked directly, which has produced some HILARIOUS results, and I've made some amazing friends. And the frustration hasn't returned, unless I'm not being completely open.
(just personal experience)

[Blue]

Well, if you mean anger over an event or situation, then that's normal, we all get angry sometimes. Talk to someone, the one responsible if there is such a person or, a friend. If there is a solution, find an implement that.

If you mean pretty much constant, toxic type anger then some anger management counseling or books would give you some better coping techniques as well as ways to avoid letting yourself get into that state again. I would go for counseling simply because there are probably underlying issues and, a councelor can help you figure out what those are and how to work on those issues.

[Chuck92]

Underlying issues have been worked through. So maybe I was just angry for not being myself. And now that I am open with myself, my wife and friends about being bi. It just disappeared because I'm not hiding or lying about it anymore

[Counselor]

Honesty is absolutely key to happiness. It reduces how worried I am about what one person knows, and the closer they are to me, the more volatile those explosions get. I can remember several instances where the sight of a guy made me really happy, but I couldn't talk to my wife about it, and she would want to know why I was in a bad mood all the sudden when she asked something simple.
If this describes your behavior, Badd, I recommend practicing honesty as much as possible. Try adding swear words, it makes telling the truth that much stronger if you need it.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Before I came out to myself then everyone else, I was angry about lots of things, mainly the pressure of constantly having to hide who I was.

I got angry at work, with my wife, with the kids, and was short tempered. I even took to drinking to drown my self pity.

The sad thing was I knew why I was being angry but I didn't have anyone I could confide in, so there was no release to the anger.

When I came out the pressure lifted and I could be who I wanted to be. I've never looked back.

You might get angry at other things Badd, but the steps you've taken so far will go a long way to preventing the old anger returning.

Feels great doesn't it

ObW
x

[Marc]

Wife AND Boyfriend? I think I just picked up your anger....

[Counselor]

Wife AND Boyfriend? I think I just picked up your anger....

Badd's situation has been explained in at least two threads already: open relationships, mutually consenting across the board. Cool your jets, Marc.

Badd, to save some explaining, you may want to adjust your details to "Bi man in open straight relationship."

[Chuck92]

Badd's situation has been explained in at least two threads already: open relationships, mutually consenting across the board. Cool your jets, Marc.

Badd, to save some explaining, you may want to adjust your details to "Bi man in open straight relationship."

Took your advice People are probably going to still hound me for the way I am but let them judge me. Being judged by someone that doesn't know anything wont bother me

[Rainbowmum]

The best thing you could do is be responsible for your own happiness.
Concentrate on the good things in your life.

Stay honest and you are free, do not let anyone treat you bad and deal with every situation with a calm head.