Ever done it ?

[Shadow]

Hokay so AS nobody else has posted on this board yet, I thought I'd start the ball rolling ...

Has anybody here either brought their partner (from a long-distance long-term relationship) over to live with them; or emigrated to be with their partner ??

If so, did it work ? HOW did it work ?? Is it still working ???

Share share !!

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[ashleo78]

Does me moving from the West Midlands to Berkshire count 7 years ago ? lol

Hey,.. it was kinda like emigrating for me lol.

[Shadow]

Far be it from me to say that's scraping the barrel - HELL YEAH !!

How was it ?

Seriously though, it does count in my eyes, as basically I'm trying to gauge what it's like upping sticks and moving somewhere else ... whether it takes a REALLY long time to settle in; whether homesickness is REALLY bad ... I realise it's different for different people, but the best place to start is surely with somebody that has done it mile:.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[princealbertofb]

Dear Sombrazinho (now you know that that's a term of endearment, don't you?) I really think it depends on many things including the change of language sometimes which can make homesickness more vivid, I guess. If you move out to another place where they speak the same language, maybe it's not so "dépaysant" [new, for lack of a better translation -- this time French has a lovely word for this notion: uncountried -- watch out Sudanese, I've just made this English word up. It doesn't exist (yet)]. You really ought to ask Marshlander how he feels when he emigrates to France once a month, sometimes twice a month so that we can share lovely moments of life together. I know he feels "dépaysé", just enough to feel on holiday and relax, because the language is just a challenge for him still, even though he's getting better and better at it (mile: proud me!) and because he doesn't have the same occupations here. I know that since going back to England means being separated for too long anyway, maybe (his English) home doesn't feel so welcoming to him, but then that's my interpretation. He can expatiate on that.
The only time that I emigrated for any length of time was for one year in the States when I was one.... so I can't really help you with my recollections, LOL. I'd say the longest I've stayed out of France apart from that one instance at the very beginning of my life must be two months. Does that count as emigrating? I doubt it.

[fjp999]

At around 20 I moved to Tokyo as I heard there were plenty of English speaking jobs. I had it really easy and felt like a native (except for the language thing but most spoke English).

I had a visa trip to Korea and found it more interesting (since I found the most lovely boy there and was planning to move there - the day my letter was returned "Return to Sender" I met my Japanese bf)...

A bunch of old uni friends moved in with me and had horrible culture shock!

My bf finally got mature enough to move to San Francisco with me. He didnt have culture shock since he had me to rely on but he felt weird that others didnt understand his broken English.

When he was forced to move back to Japan (a bit of a long story) is when he really started missing San Fran.

So we have been in a long distant relationship for a couple years now with a little phone contact some emails etc.

If you have any specific questions just ask away... but it can be difficult depending on which country you are trying to move to and their regulations...

frank

[ashleo78]

Far be it from me to say that's scraping the barrel - HELL YEAH !!

How was it ?

Seriously though, it does count in my eyes, as basically I'm trying to gauge what it's like upping sticks and moving somewhere else ... whether it takes a REALLY long time to settle in; whether homesickness is REALLY bad ... I realise it's different for different people, but the best place to start is surely with somebody that has done it mile:.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

For a 22 year old gay guy who had only come out to his parents 3 weeks previous, it was a BIG move for me. I'd never left home before longer than a weekend, let alone full time.

I had met my first boyfriend on Gaydar of all places, we'd been 'seeing' each other for a couple of months. He lived in Camberley in Surrey, and myself here in the West Midlands. Travelling up for him every week was expensive in petrol. So i took the bull by the horns so to speak and we decided to get our own little place together. It wasn't much, only a static mobile home but it was ours (well, privately rented). I visited a few times, had some job interviews, had great feedback off one of them, accepted the position and a month later I moved down to Berkshire.

[Mark]

Mm my mum moved? LOL.

She was 16, dad was 23. (Big age gap back then).

She lived in england, but nan runs pubs, they had one in cardiff for 3 months, mum met dad, basically didnt want to go so she left everyone all her family friends stayed here.

It took a few months for her to move, as there was some things to sort but kinda the same situation? To be honest, it was hard for her, but 7 years ago she finally found her life, not to say someone else wouldnt get it ASAP. But she got her job in the school and loves it.

She basically says cardiff is home, and never wants to move back :> and now shes been in cardiff... 22 years?. (Aye she had me when she was 19, put it this way next year im 21 and shes 40! 2 Big parties ).

AND OMG IM 21 NEXT YEAR. OMFG IM 20 THIS YEAR -CRIES

[wouldlikemuscle]

She basically says cardiff is home, and never wants to move back :> and now shes been in cardiff... 22 years?. (Aye she had me when she was 19, put it this way next year im 21 and shes 40! 2 Big parties ).

AND OMG IM 21 NEXT YEAR. OMFG IM 20 THIS YEAR -CRIES

I want an invite to said party pls!! :biggrin:

And to keep on track... no I've never done it. The biggest move I've made was livin in at Uni for 3 years... hour and half from home so not too bad.

However, who knows what the future holds!

[Shadow]

mile:,

Thanks guys for all your feedback ... it's not me that's doing the moving - it's Martyn - he's looking to move to Jersey (bless him), and so I was more kinda thinking "do you think there's anything I ought to make sure I've got 100% completely covered before he moves over ?" and so on ...

I'm no idiot - I've got what I consider to be the obvious stuff covered ... he doesn't want to move in with me, he wants to move into a little place of his own (and, unaware of local housing qualification issues, what this effectively means is that I'm going to have to buy a one bedroom flat and he can lodge there and we'll pay the mortgage jointly).

But beyond that and looking for an office job for him, I don't think there's a HUGE amount that falls to be considered ? At this point at least ...

We're both being really pragmatic about it - I've told him dozens of times DON'T sell your place - we'll keep it on and pay the mortgage and then either you can rent it out or we can use it as a holiday home, but at least that way IF the unthinkable were to happen and you were to want to move back or what have you, you won't have completely upped sticks and moved over ...

If in the fullness of time we fully settle, we can then sell it or whatever ...

So thanks again for all your input, which I have found MOST insightful xxxxx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[princealbertofb]

mile:,

Thanks guys for all your feedback ... it's not me that's doing the moving - it's Martyn - he's looking to move to Jersey (bless him), and so I was more kinda thinking "do you think there's anything I ought to make sure I've got 100% completely covered before he moves over ?" and so on ...

I'm no idiot - I've got what I consider to be the obvious stuff covered ... he doesn't want to move in with me, he wants to move into a little place of his own (and, unaware of local housing qualification issues, what this effectively means is that I'm going to have to buy a one bedroom flat and he can lodge there and we'll pay the mortgage jointly).

But beyond that and looking for an office job for him, I don't think there's a HUGE amount that falls to be considered ? At this point at least ...

We're both being really pragmatic about it - I've told him dozens of times DON'T sell your place - we'll keep it on and pay the mortgage and then either you can rent it out or we can use it as a holiday home, but at least that way IF the unthinkable were to happen and you were to want to move back or what have you, you won't have completely upped sticks and moved over ...

If in the fullness of time we fully settle, we can then sell it or whatever ...

So thanks again for all your input, which I have found MOST insightful xxxxx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

I think your thinking is extremely sound... Martyn would be well advised to keep his estate and you yours when you get it... It makes sense. Anyway, real estate sells well for a comfortable little cushion of money, should you decide to get yourselves a lovely retirement house in the south of Europe... lol, in a few years' time. I wish WE had the money. But there's not much money in teaching.