no. name. face.

[nonameface]

Not sure where to start here. This is my first time ever doing anything like this. My screen name is quite indicative of how I feel at the moment. Nameless and Faceless. (Yes this introductory post will be quite emo. Get ready for the ride...) I've never had a sexual attraction toward women throughout my lifetime. I knew this during puberty, but I told myself, I'm not gay. I can't be. Because that means A. I 'm going to hell. B. My mother and I will be estranged, at best...disowned at worst. I come from a very strong Seventh Day Adventist background. Shit like this just doesn't go down around my way. I'm 23. I still live with mother. I have no car, a prn (part time) job and no life. My mom's laid off. This makes it hard to save money to get out of this trap. I hate to keep bitching, I'm just really frustrated. I'm tired of eyeing all the men at work and not being able to do anything about it. I am not even close to being ready to let people know about this. Especially my mother. She wants me to be this good Christian young man. But I don't believe in this bullshit, and I haven't for a long time. I want to be free to live my life. I sometimes wonder if the way I feel is a result of my parents divorce (never having a real relationship in the 1st place anyway), and my lack of connection with my family. Aside from my mother, who I do believe actually cares about me, my family (extended and all, is a mere compilation of selfish bitches). I find myself attracted to older men often (but not exclusively, of course). Maybe this is why. I don't know. I try to be my own therapist sometimes and It makes me crazy. It's getting late over here. Let me stop bitching and start at least giving a few details about myself. I love writing, music, reading, films, running, biking (bike is busted now tho), swimming, travelling, and connecting with people (when it happens). Back to the music tho. I write songs. Poetry. Produce tracks. Trip hop. Ambient stuff. I occasionally rap. These are just a few thngs that I love. Good conversation. Art. Anyway. here I am, and that is the gist of my pathetic existence. Hello out there.

[monk]

Welcome!

[fenris]

Hi and Welcome :-)

[megumidesu]

hey , welcome ^^

[Counselor]

Welcome, you aren't the first to realize religion can be controlling (or in some cases, wrong), and you certainly won't be the last.

I've only heard the term "PRN" used in the medical field, are you a nurse?

[Rainbowmum]

Hello and

[dfiant]

G Day and welcome to Gayspeak

[Roxy]

Welcome! Alot that you expressed I have felt too, so know you're not alone in some of your feelings. ^_^

I hope you enjoy your time here =)

[Chuck92]

Welcome to the Forum.... Hopefully this can be a good outlet for you..

We are here for each other as support...

Again Welcome!!!!!

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Well, lets start by saying you have a face and a name, and you can share both or either on here without fear of anyone taking offence or thinking of you as pathetic in any way what so ever

We are a very mixed bunch in here, but the focus is on friendly advice, usually based on our personal experiences.

You might feel like your the only gay in the kind of situation you find yourself in right now. Well your not and you've come to exactly the right place to get advice on how to deal with things on a practical and emotional level.

So stop thinking of yourself as some pathetic faceless individual. You're not. Your you, and your welcome to the GS forum.



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