Help

[Totty92]

I'm nearly 21 and am still in denial of being gay even though I know I am. Felt feelings towards guys since I was about 14. I really feel the need to try something with someone but I can't in my hometown because people will know me. I'm going a concert tomorrow on my own ( yes I know lol can't resist seeing them ) I'm thinking of going a gay bar after to meet people. Is this a good idea? I'm really frustrated at the minute :/

[princealbertofb]

Hello, Totty, and to GaySpeak. Not sure which concert you're going to since you didn't mention the name of the band or group.. However, if you feel like going out to a gay bar, why not? You might not like it, some people don't. Or you might feel that you're wasting your time, depending on how comfortable you feel and how welcoming people are in that bar. Have you already sorted out an address to go to?

By the way, by telling us here, I think you've finally got to the point where you can admit it not only to yourself but also to others... Maybe you can find the courage to get on with your life now.
In any event that something happens, please remember to be safe and take your precautions...

[AquaKnight]

Welcome!! I think its a double edge sword at this point you don't want to make yourself uncomfortable but you don't want to live in denial either.

[Dan1980]

Hi welcome to GaySpeak. it's a good idea going to a gay bar after the concert where you can meet others and make friends. Have fun at the concert.

[Corsac]

Hi and welcome

I personally think you need to be really sure of yourself before you consider going to a gay bar otherwise it can be quite overwhelming on your first time at one.

Are there not any resources that you can use in stoke to help you be more comfortable within your own skin?

[mihai]

1st of all welcome . We all been there , UK is pretty gay friendly , the commming out is not that hard ... you just need to show people you are confident that you are gay and they can't be negative about it ... Somethign like " dude you know what? screw this ... i am gay ". Only 2 friends over reacted after telling them

[megumidesu]

as long as you're careful , i don't see why you shouldn't go to a gay bar after the concert ~

if the band is good then that instantly gives you a conversation starting point should you see anyone that you want to talk to ^^

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Hi Totty and to the GS Forum.

I used to work in Stoke Haven't been in the Potteries for a few months now!

Are you sure that EVERYONE in Stoke knows you LoL. Don't worry, the fear of being "found out" if your not out to anyone is very common, especially in younger people.

If you tell us where the concert is, we might be able to recommend a few places you may want to go, however as others have said you might be disappointed I know I was on my first visit to a gay bar (by myself)

There is nothing wrong with going to a gay bar, but Im not sure what your expectations are. Honestly, its a BAR, just like any other bar, and they tend to be very mixed (LGBT and straight) If you could go with someone on your first visit (straight or gay) then that would give you a much better introduction, because you will have someone to talk to, rather than be at the bar by yourself drinking alone....

If you just want to go and people watch (and your concert is in London) just go to Old Compton St in Soho. I don't go there much these days (mainly because its 6000 mile away lol) but it is so refreshing as a gay guy to stand in the middle of the street and just see guy and girls walking hand in hand, kissing etc out in the open. It just seems to normal

What ever you do Im sure you'll have a blast and who knows, maybe someone from GS is going to the same concert!

Good Luck,
ObW
x

[Counselor]

Welcome/congratulations on coming out to yourself!

[WaltHitman]

You're not in denial - you're in fear of others and MAN! Do SO MANY OF US here understand that!
NOW, go out, find a place where you're "OK" and man, our hearts and laughter are going with you!
BE CAREFUL! Straight people can HURT YOU BAD! You don't owe anybody the personal nature of your love life - no one but your lover(s)!
Keep us posted!