ok, this is a leap, I hope it will not be too controversial...
is there a propensity in gay men to be, um, mama's boys? this is the second relationship I've had with someone in their 40s who still lives at home with mom, an absent father (first time was dad had passed, second time was mom was divorced) where the eldest son
basically takes the role of the man of the house. if he becomes involved in a relationship, mom feels threatened and does everything she can to sabotage it. calling in the middle of the date, "when are you coming home, son? mama needs this. mama needs that. mama needs this and that and the other. mama doesn't like her son being away. it's after dark. my son needs to be at home."
guess who comes first and guess who's always gonna come second.
has anyone else ever been involved in a relationship with another guy where you feel like you have to ask mom, at the age of 40, if your boyfriend can come out and play?
rover330 Wrote:ok, this is a leap, I hope it will not be too controversial...
is there a propensity in gay men to be, um, mama's boys? this is the second relationship I've had with someone in their 40s who still lives at home with mom, an absent father (first time was dad had passed, second time was mom was divorced) where the eldest son
basically takes the role of the man of the house. if he becomes involved in a relationship, mom feels threatened and does everything she can to sabotage it. calling in the middle of the date, "when are you coming home, son? mama needs this. mama needs that. mama needs this and that and the other. mama doesn't like her son being away. it's after dark. my son needs to be at home."
guess who comes first and guess who's always gonna come second.
has anyone else ever been involved in a relationship with another guy where you feel like you have to ask mom, at the age of 40, if your boyfriend can come out and play?
I totally understand your situation. I have never been in a relationship, but I understand because I wasn't born American. I don't know how other cultures are, but people in Vietnamese culture value kinship very much. It's often appreciated as much as (or even more than) romantic relationship.
I would never want to be put in a situation that I have to make a choice. Right now I'm living for my parents. When their financial status is stable, they won't need me around too often. Then I can live my own life with the man I'm in love with.
it's more of a situation where, I at least feel, at some point you have to leave your family and become independent.
it seems, to me at least, as if the mother of the family wants to be the matriarch and resists their children's independence. I think if anything she's afraid of being alone. that should not, however, preclude any of her children forming adult, healthy, functional relationships. a dude living with his mom into his 50s and not allowed to date because it threatens Mom is, IMHO, to say the least, dysfunctional.
I have two sons and they are both mama's boys and proud of it.
I do not think it has to do with if they are gay or not ,perhaps you are attracted to a certain type of person without even realizing it.
mama
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