I don't know if anyone still remember, 2 years ago, I made a topic about losing hope. During that moment, everyone was very supportive, and those comment cheered me up. I really believed I would eventually find love. However, I'm in my 19, turning 20 next year, and I still no where close to finding any love.
The funny thing is, this time, I don't even have a target anymore... Every time i do have a target, it turns out the other guy is straight. It's really depressing knowing that the person you fall for would never love you, and it's even more painful when it's constant. It's weird because I still cry but laugh in the same time.
The most depressing thing is that the moment when I realised that I'm the person who was bully throughout my primary - High school, I was too shy to make much friends and people often called me naive because they don't really know me. If I had so much trouble making friends, and if people went to the point to bully me, why would anyone ever love someone like me.
Oh well... I'm done with finding a relationship, never going to happen to me. Anyway, feel nice to talk about it. Don't bother giving me a pep talk about how I'm still young or it'll eventually happen, because it won't.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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oh boy, someone is feeling really depressed today.
Quote:Don't bother giving me a pep talk about how I'm still young or it'll eventually happen, because it won't.
hmm, all right. So if you know it won't happen, why not work with what you have - and what you apparently will have all you life, right?
You are 19, old enough to know that in your 30', 50' 70' you will be alone. Ok, I get your point young man  Do you also know how your life will look like? What your job will be, your hobbies?
What will you do to have a happy life even without a partner? How do you plan to boost up your confidence?
There might be a guy near you who is looking for someone right now. Why should he be interested in you? Do you have some qualities that will make HIS life better? Are you caring, funny...? And if you are, do people around you know? Or all they see is a depressed guy who has resigned on all his life already?
Don't rely with your happiness on the others. Get your life together, take care of yourself, enjoy your life and stop looking for someone. 
You said you didn't want to comfort and you are sure you won't find a partner. Well, ok. Then do something that would make your life nice even without a partner 
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Why are you using your age as something to define when you find someone you love?
I never looked and only ended up with my ex when I turned 23, it's not a race.
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If you're done trying to find a relationship, that's probably your best move! It's often when I give up on a challenge that I relax and find a solution. I was a shy teenager and didn't have any romantic relationships until my 20's. I had thoughts of being alone the rest of my life. Things haven't turned out that way. Do the things you like to do, hang out with friends, try new things once in a while, and I bet you will be surprised. You just can't know when. Remember that you are not the first person to feel the way you do, and that all things change.
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Safest bet ,get on with your life and make some good friends.  mile:
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Yes, I think love will catch up with you, around the corner, some day when you least expect it. It might be better to focus on other things like getting a job, or finishing your studies, making friends if you can become a little less shy. Of course the bullying has had an impact on you, but it sounds like you want to change that. Why don't you pursue the friendship of a few girls? They can be fun, and maybe you might find some who'll have a gay brother or a gay best friend. It is difficult to know how long it will be before you find someone to love and who loves you back, but you're trying too hard and wishing too hard. Give your brain (and heart) a break. Of course if it's the sex you're after, you can always try an escort but that can be expensive, and anyway it doesn't sound like you'd be interested.
Good luck anyway. Get your life as an adult (citizen, tax payer, working man, professional...) started and things will start fitting into place.
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I'm 28 and have never been in a real relationship.. so I can relate to you. Sometimes I also feel hopeless, and shift into the "poor me"attitude, but in truth, I never really give up. As long as you're here, and you put yourself out there, I believe you will eventually find someone. Like I said, sometimes I feel hopeless too.. but to give up, what's the point? If you don't try, you'll never find what you're looking for.
For now, I agree with Princealbert. I would say, concentrate on yourself, work to better yourself, and put yourself out there. You will find people who like you -- whether it's friendships or something more. Life can suck at times, but that's just the way it is. We gotta just brush ourselves off and move forward.
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Aethe, I grew up in the Sutherland Shire. I was bullied so badly when I was at school that I wagged most, if not all of year 9 and 10. I had a tough time coping and became recluse and for many years became self destructive. Yes, that means what you think it means...booze, drugs, sex for money and attempted suicide.
I'm not tying to make your feeling go away, only you can do that but that comes with time and experience.
My life started when I was 27, when before I had no hope, I suddenly had all the hope in the world.
Don't fret, don't focus so much on what you don't have...focus on what you do have and be happy with that because until you are happy with yourself and at peace with yourself, you have no room for anyone else
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Don't worry, when i post this topic, I'm not even really that depress. Like I said, I began to take it as a joke now. Just goes to show that life is unfair and that bullies gets everything in life, whereas the victims will always have the scar left behind from the incidents. Anyway, I'm currently studying to become a primary school teacher, and seeing how the students appreciates me actually does make me have something to look forward to.
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Nick9 Wrote:oh boy, someone is feeling really depressed today.
hmm, all right. So if you know it won't happen, why not work with what you have - and what you apparently will have all you life, right?
You are 19, old enough to know that in your 30', 50' 70' you will be alone. Ok, I get your point young man Do you also know how your life will look like? What your job will be, your hobbies?
What will you do to have a happy life even without a partner? How do you plan to boost up your confidence?
There might be a guy near you who is looking for someone right now. Why should he be interested in you? Do you have some qualities that will make HIS life better? Are you caring, funny...? And if you are, do people around you know? Or all they see is a depressed guy who has resigned on all his life already?
Don't rely with your happiness on the others. Get your life together, take care of yourself, enjoy your life and stop looking for someone.
You said you didn't want to comfort and you are sure you won't find a partner. Well, ok. Then do something that would make your life nice even without a partner
Lol, thank you for the talk, but don't worry. My life (atleast not in the relationship zone) isn't a mess. I have friends that like me and think I'm funny, just that I sometime feel it's not enough. My carreer path is so far stable, I'm studying to be a teacher and I enjoy it. I enjoy helping kids, and I nurturing them to be a healthy citizen. Although, it makes me depress at times because I could never have kids of my own, but that's okay I guess. Anyway, thanks for your concern.
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No more hope
