I deliberately won't entitle the thread Homosexuals and adoption because that's what people always seem to confuse.
I've just been reading several opinions on a French site (a general magazine sort of site, the URL of which I can provide if anyone cares to see for themselves) in which the poll of the day was FOR or AGAINST gay parenthood and adoption.
They were encouraging people to give their opinions. There were some 102 answers in FAVOUR and 112 AGAINST and then again another 13 of UNDECIDEDs... What struck me first was the fact that the number of against messages was higher than the FOR ones. While I read some of them, I realised that some people had badly placed their message, being FOR but having placed their opinion in AGAINST. Nonetheless, it still seems that French society is not prepared to give gays the right to have children, even if, (and that's what they don't realise) many gays already have children.
There seems to be this big confusion between what the law says and what is, in effect, possible. There is nothing to stop gays having children of their own, if they so desire. So why the big argument against them adopting?
So could you list here the arguments you've heard that you find the most obnoxious, the most untrue, the most shocking?
And on the other hand what arguments would you be prepared to provide in favour of gay men or lesbians adopting?
Indeed, in France, a single person can adopt, normally regardless of their sex orientation. It appears that if you are not single, then the law has its say.
Another point that seems to be misunderstood is the fact that two people in a same-sex relationship might both want to be the legal parents of the children. So it means that the natural parent is obviously a parent but the other partner can't adopt the child as their own. Since no child created from donated sperm knows who its father is (that is French legislation for the moment) why shouldn't the child have two mothers, for instance?
(baffled by a lot of ignorance - reading those opinions) PA
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well i think that a child is a HUGE responsibility. it's a life placed in the hands of someone, someone who can shape the way the child thinks, behaves, grows, feels... parents have a strong influence over their children, and i speak from experience, seeing how some of my friends have certain strengths or weaknesses, fears or confidence because of the way their parents behaved towards them all their lives. so i'd say trusting someone with a child requires that person to have a lot of qualities a human being should have, and then more qualities that a parent should have. it's like being intelligent but also wise. or knowing a subject and also being able to teach it.
so my criterion would be not of sexual orientation, but of the quality of the people being entrusted with a child. anyone has the right to love another, and a desire to have children that comes from the heart is one of the most noble feelings of affection. the child finds a home, support, love and tenderness, so he or she can have a good life. so the whole gay thing is preposterous and damn right insulting. i know plenty of straight people who were not prepared to be parents, or did not even care enough to want to learn how to become parents. so it's all about the quality of the human being, which has other weighing measures than the narrow-minded sexual orientation one.
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Quite right, too!!! Bravo for this insightful post.
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Although I would love to adopt, I am 100% against homosexuals adopting due to bullying. We can pretend it won't happen BUT it will; who are we to decide as to whether a child should be bullied at school. Like I said, I would LOVE to adopt BUT I just couldn't make a kids childhood hell.
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Hyde Wrote:Although I would love to adopt, I am 100% against homosexuals adopting due to bullying. We can pretend it won't happen BUT it will; who are we to decide as to whether a child should be bullied at school. Like I said, I would LOVE to adopt BUT I just couldn't make a kids childhood hell.
i think that more and more people are getting used to the idea that there are gay people just like there are straight, and thus society evolves towards a better understanding and accepting of this fact. so perhaps, in the future, this will not be a cause of bullying but rather an "odd" fact. and i think little kids are more tolerant than adults anyway. high school is where things get complicated, but hopefully that could change - as people open their minds, so might their children.
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Hyde Wrote:Although I would love to adopt, I am 100% against homosexuals adopting due to bullying. We can pretend it won't happen BUT it will; who are we to decide as to whether a child should be bullied at school. Like I said, I would LOVE to adopt BUT I just couldn't make a kids childhood hell. This is a tough call and I quite understand your point. However, how will things change unless there are a few pioneers?
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wat we forget to think about is how the children would feel as they grow up. will they have to face the prejudism and somewhat suffering of being a child to same-sex parents? will they be bullied at school and will they understand that its not "their" fault.
it isnt that fair at all, but at the same time equality and freedom of choice should be granted to all people, no matter what their sexual orientation. and ur right even heterosexual parents are bad parents and aren't ready for the responsibility of a child. in most same-sex couples they want a child, have thought about it and prepared for it. in this way their child will have all the love in the world that they need.
have you checked out this internet company gay2share? it has a poll running at the moment where they ask about legalized marriages and also adoption for same-sex couples.
Gay2Share.com
its got some pretty kool videos up too, check it out okies?
mt xoxo
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Speaking about the French way of thinking, I noticed that there's a common string of thought amongst straight men over here, that gay men, especially men, more than women, are very "volatile" when it comes to their personal lives. The general opinion is that, on average, a gay man would lead a relatively unstable life, one that is more promiscuous and self-centered. If we consider the stereotype, and a certain age span, this is not necessarily very far from the truth. However, what a lot of people fail to consider, is that in lots of cases, the child simply is the cause of a person (whether it be gay or straight) settling down. That could be on his own, with another person, or sometimes with the child's mother, regardless of the agreement.
I dream of a child. Nevertheless, I do believe it would be nearly impossible to offer him/her a life free of homophobic emotions against his father and consequently prejudice against him.
Hélas, so is our world.
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Pocket Pilgrim,
I am gay and was never bullied at school. My son and my grandson are straight and have both been bullied at school. In the UK there are now policies against bullying and an established procedure for dealing with bullying at school. I found this out recently by googling it. I told my son, he went to see the head, who is basically as PC as Attila the Hun, and my son made it quite clear that the bullying had to stop. It has stopped: I am quite sure of that – it's a long story and I don't want to get boring. My son was a shy little boy who has grown up into a force to be dealt with. Gay parents have to understand and use the law like everyone else. Bullying? Bullshit.
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Hyde Wrote:Although I would love to adopt, I am 100% against homosexuals adopting due to bullying. We can pretend it won't happen BUT it will; who are we to decide as to whether a child should be bullied at school. Like I said, I would LOVE to adopt BUT I just couldn't make a kids childhood hell.
Every kids childhood is hell, no matter what ppl get bullied. If we try control every aspect of life then we will have kids walking around everywhere talking to no one and that will be the end of the human race..... I was bullied at school and it made my character stronger and it give me the edge i have to day. I wouldn't have joined the army and went to war if i hadn't been bullied. I am not for bullying but you cant change the human condition. No matter what everyone has a nasty streak in them.
I posted a you tube video about gay adoption that made me laugh. As i feel that most ppl think that if you are a gay couple and you have a kid, that automatically makes the kid gay... WTF. Some ppl are just crazy and need to be sent away to a remote place and never see the light of day again. It ridiculous that ppl think being gay is a choice. Did they choose to be straight? So i am pretty sure the kid will be what ever no matter what.
Sorry if some of this doesn't make sense i just get on a roll and its a touchy subject.
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