An Introduction, and A Question.

[Cayris]

Hello. I'm Cayris. I was actually signing up to this community to get a better handle on something I'm writing. I suppose I can post it here (and if it needs to be moved or deleted someone will inform me).

Recently, being about two years ago, three wonderful men entered my life. All of them with different degrees of acceptance for their sexual orientation and all of them in very different circumstances. They were between the ages of 19-22. I was never homophobic (being versatile but unconcerned with labeling myself a sexuality), but I never worried too much about the gay community either.

These three men changed my life. And I decided to write a book - mostly because they inspired me. I want to be clear, I am not writing this book because I feel sympathy that they are homosexual, I want to write this book for those that want something to believe in (to not feel so alone). This book, while being all about a teenager coming to terms with his sexuality, is supposed to be as realistic and relate-able as possible. BUT, it's for the gays, not to promote gay acceptance.

With that in mind, I want to make sure I have the BEST idea of what NEEDS to be said to people struggling with their homosexuality. What would YOU have liked to hear?

What made you angry? Sad? Happy? What should have someone said?

Any comment would be really great. I am a female writing from a homosexual male's side and, I fear, that this perspective makes me a little lacking on all the information I wish I had.

(PS. I apologize for the length of this post.)

[JohnnyBlaze]

Make sure you put in that it does get better!

[Undreamt]

i really don't like the term "the gays".

personally, and it s a message that i'm still coming to term with. The thing that really stands out for me is that nobody should feel pressured into trying to behave in a way the suits other people.
I relationship is the most personal thing that you can have with another person, if you are trying to make the relationship into something that you think is normal or base the relationship on what other people have then you are doing it wrong.

[Counselor]

Lol, we're a social experiment now? With respect, Cayris, you could have learned the answers to your questions by reading various threads.

[Cayris]

i really don't like the term "the gays".

You're right. Usually I avoid any term that classifies people (especially based on sexuality or race), I just was trying to find the best way to state the book was "for the people" and not "the protestors."

[Cayris]

Lol, we're a social experiment now? With respect, Cayris, you could have learned the answers to your questions by reading various threads.

You could also argue that I could have learned the answers by asking my "three inspiring males." Sexuality is subjective. Personally, I rarely claim my sexuality at all. I slept with girls, I've slept with men, I've fallen in love with both... I guess society says that makes me bisexual, but I don't really see myself as such.

It is not that I wish to make you feel uncomfortable. My hope is to encourage people that hurt as bad as one of them did. And honor the other two, one that never really had trouble with it at all.

Like I said above, it's subjective. The more people I can get to tell me what they wish they read, the more I can make my writing effective.

[Counselor]

I understand having a broader base of subject material, thus turning to a forum with more than 3 members.

[Rainbowmum]

Invite them to join up ,they will love this place , or you could hang around and get to know this community.

Lol, we're a social experiment now? With respect, Cayris, you could have learned the answers to your questions by reading various threads.

*Put's a fresh piece of cheese in Counselor 's maze and opens the cage door*

[zeon]

Hello,
I think it might be easier if you posted some questions about what perticular topics you are looking for... I have known i was gay at 12 but never came out until i was 17. I have broken a girls heart in the process struggled with my sexuality through teenage years had crushes on other class mates and at my deepest point in my struggle resorted to self harm to try to fight my whole being gay label because i knew i was different but didnt understand til i came out..., I found my teenage years somewhat a horrible time as friends would have their lovers in the park with them but for me i was still hidden inside being the odd one out without anyone to hug or cuddle upto... It did have a draining effect mentally and did affect my school work and my future ahead of me but what many people take for granted and expect on a plate ive worked for... Even as a teenager going into the work place i experienced some homophobic abuse from other co workers and supervisors including one well known chain with the slogan "Thats why mums go to l*****d" i experienced my worst and never got a proper result and resigned... I have worked in many retail outlets as a teenager and experienced different levels of tolerance however turning 20 and being a young adult i found a company that is very gay accepting and tolerable and im still there seven years on... so the questions you asked are

What made me angry?
What made me angry as a child was the fact that there was not enough education and acceptance back then and it was too little too late.. Everything in school was about hetrosexual sex and nothing about my volume of language as i wasnt the only gay child in my school or my year there were quite a few of us and what about our rights to a proper education that the system failed to respond on?

What made me sad?
The fact that other children were not tolerating of any aspect of homosexuality through no fault of their own its how society had imprinted some aspects onto them that i found most saddenning. I didnt come out at school however i do know two people who did and it wasnt a good site with the abuse....

What made me happy?
My freedom when i did come out in teenage years... My freedom to move with the flow of life and the different aspects of liviung the life i deserve and since coming out and whatnot i am now better off and happier in life than i can ever be

kindest regards

zeon x

[cardiganwearer]

The advice always given to writers is "write about what you know".

I don't think anyone has ever suggested "go on a gay message board, patronise it's members within an inch of their lives and then expect them to supply material for your book", but who knows, someone may have.