So I started baking about 2 years ago, and in my enthusiasm, over did myself when going to a party by bringing a sugar art thing that was way over the top. I got lots of complements but later found out the host used my creation to bring to anther party later that week. Ok, tacky but whatever.
Now I keep getting invited every year and every year I decline because its the only party these guys have that they invite me to. Last week I bumped into them and again, they already knew I was not coming.
But here is the thing, on my way out the door, one of them said even if I cant make it, I could always drop off one of my creations at their house.
Are people the clueless how rude and tack that is? WTF
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Are you sure these people are your friends?
You should ask them how much they are planning on paying you .
That should give them the hint.
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Rainbowmum Wrote:Are you sure these people are your friends?
You should ask them how much they are planning on paying you .
That should give them the hint.
Actually No! I would not call them friends, only acquaintances or friends of friends. But the thing is, I keep bumping into them at other events and parties because we have a lot of mutual friends. So I cant just be totally F -U about it.
Just seems weird to me. Why would you tell someone your re-gifted your gift. And secondly, it feels like they just want something nice to show off at their party and could care less about the person and so blatant about it. And third, that thing was a lot of work, it took about 2 days to make.
I guess if I was invited to all their other events which I know they have I wouldn't feel so cheap and used. LOL
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I think you might be expecting a lot from people who you just consider acquaintances. They might just be referring to your gift a lot because it was such a memorable thing and it became something easy to make mention of when your around for the sake of conversation.
I also think it might be something that was memorable enough that they invite you to the same event and only that event because they might feel as though you think highly of it for you to have made something so extravagant.
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Thought there would be a kiddie pool in this thread. Whatevs.
They probably don't know or realize what is involved in your craft, and think it's as easy as a Betty Crocker box kit and a pound of fondant.
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I don't want to trivialise your problem but honesty compels me to confess that I have tried.
I've tried really hard and, no, I don't seem to be able to make your problem more trivial.
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Hey Mike,
Sounds to me like you have a business opportunity. Why not treat it as such. Ask them to provide details of what they want, then give them a detailed breakdown of the costs, not forgetting to figure in your own time.
Problem solved, unless of course the orders come flooding in, but thats for another thread.... 
ObW
x
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cardiganwearer Wrote:I don't want to trivialise your problem but honesty compels me to confess that I have tried.
I've tried really hard and, no, I don't seem to be able to make your problem more trivial.
That's not honesty, that's being a prat. 
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You've obviously never addressed this sugar art thing as being the reason why you felt offended by their ''tackiness'', or their lack of consideration for your gift... Did they pretend that they'd made it? Maybe they didn't quite know what to do with it. Did you want to be acknowledged for being the creator of the object?
Is there a way you could deal with this humorously? It sounds like just one of life's little annoyances. If they took credit for it, then it wasn't fair. At least, they keep inviting you? Is their reason only because they want you to bring another sugar art gift?
My take on gifts is that the person who gets my gift can do whatever they want with it, especially if they have no idea what it's for or have a double or just don't really want it. They can gift it to someone else, it's theirs once it's out of my hands. I make a point of saying so. As far as I'm concerned, I've enjoyed making the gift, I've done my part in being respectful of the unspoken gift rule, but I cannot always be sure that it not a poisoned gift.
My suggestion would be to let it just go. Next time, if you want to attend their party, just go, but bring them a boring gift, maybe something in which you didn't invest so much time or that you bought?
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princealbertofb Wrote:You've obviously never addressed this sugar art thing as being the reason why you felt offended by their ''tackiness'', or their lack of consideration for your gift... Did they pretend that they'd made it? Maybe they didn't quite know what to do with it. Did you want to be acknowledged for being the creator of the object?
Is there a way you could deal with this humorously? It sounds like just one of life's little annoyances. If they took credit for it, then it wasn't fair. At least, they keep inviting you? Is their reason only because they want you to bring another sugar art gift?
My take on gifts is that the person who gets my gift can do whatever they want with it, especially if they have no idea what it's for or have a double or just don't really want it. They can gift it to someone else, it's theirs once it's out of my hands. I make a point of saying so. As far as I'm concerned, I've enjoyed making the gift, I've done my part in being respectful of the unspoken gift rule, but I cannot always be sure that it not a poisoned gift.
My suggestion would be to let it just go. Next time, if you want to attend their party, just go, but bring them a boring gift, maybe something in which you didn't invest so much time or that you bought?
Yes, this is just a trival annoyance, but it show up every year about this time.
It's not about recognition, I got a lot of that at the party.
I dont care what you do with a gift once you have it, something like that was expected to be be eaten or thrown away that night.
It's just tacky some how. Like if you went out of your way to make homemade soup for a friend, they said it look great, didnt eat it, then took it over to a neighbors house as their pot luck contrabution. then they keep asking to to make more for them.
And yes, I thought about just letting it go and showing up with a boring gift the next time around, but literally the last time I saw them they joked about how I could make something for them anyway and drop it off at their house. It's a joke, I get it, but there is somehow some weird truth in what they want.
Basically I feel like they are lazy bitches, want a guest to bring something interesting to their first party and too lazy to do something interesting to the party they go to the fallowing week.
And like I said, the don't invite me to any of their other parties which I know they have. I only live 3 miles away, have mutual friends, and run into each other at least once every few months. So it feels like I am only invited because it serves their needs.
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Shallow Party Invite?
