12-19-2012, 06:32 PM
Hi everyone, its me again. I told you guys that i wanted to go to a gay bar and you guys suggested me to be 18 first. I can understand your worries and thank you for it.
Yesterday i was watching how i met your mother on my computer and my dad came and turned the computer off because i didn't go to the school other day. I guess i spend too much time on computer but thats because i want to distract myself. Anyway i was so angry to my dad; he took away my little time capsule. I was waiting for everything around me to change. So i dressed up as quick as possible and left the home. I went to down town and just started to talk to random persons. After a while i got tired and went to McDonalds. I bought a menu but i barely touched it, i was kinda interested in the boy who was working in there. He was clearly straight but i just wanted to talk to him. Anyway while we were talking two guys came and i simply said ''hi''. I feel like that hi will change so much in my life. One of them was 22 years old and the other one was 20. I asked them about how can i go to another country for education. They talked with me a little and asked ''why are you in here, its so late''. I just said my dad turned off the computer. People believes simple, idiot problems since i'm a teenager.
Anyway, they said i could hang out with them. I said okay. They were asking money from the people on streets. I asked too and i lied a little.. i feel a little guilty. They were asking the money to get weed. One of them stole an ashtray from a table of a cafe. I know how it sounds, but i kinda liked the way they tried to survive. I guess desperate moments needs desperate solutions. But then one of them said they were selling magazines for handicapped persons at the day and they were asking money and stealing stuff for themselves at night. That balances a little right?
Then one of them turned to me and asked whats my problem. I told about my computer again but he didn't believed me. He said ''You clearly have a problem. Is it about your family?'' i said no. ''is it about money?'' i said no again. ''is it about sexual choices?''. I didn't said anything. I couldn't talk. I just looked at the ground like i always do. I could hear my heart's beating, i felt my eyes was burning a little. ''Is that it? Are you gay?'' he asked. I waved my head up and down so slowly. I remembered the look in my friends eyes when i told them. I didn't wanted to see that look ever again, so i didn't looked at him.
He said ''That's it? There is nothing wrong with that.'' and they started to talk about their gay friends and successfull gay business mans in my country. They said they could take me to a gay bar sometime. They wouldn't take me in since im 16 but i could sit outside. They promised me to introduce me to one of their gay friends. I felt so good, almost normal with them. I was thinking about going to a gay bar with them at new year. What do you think? I don't know what am i expecting actually, i just want to see it. Oh by the way it was 1 am when i got home. My mom said ''we'll talk about this tomorrow''. I don't know whats gonna happen.
One simple ''hi'' opened a new door in front of me. I am gonna take it and hopefully i'll find what i'm looking for.
Yesterday i was watching how i met your mother on my computer and my dad came and turned the computer off because i didn't go to the school other day. I guess i spend too much time on computer but thats because i want to distract myself. Anyway i was so angry to my dad; he took away my little time capsule. I was waiting for everything around me to change. So i dressed up as quick as possible and left the home. I went to down town and just started to talk to random persons. After a while i got tired and went to McDonalds. I bought a menu but i barely touched it, i was kinda interested in the boy who was working in there. He was clearly straight but i just wanted to talk to him. Anyway while we were talking two guys came and i simply said ''hi''. I feel like that hi will change so much in my life. One of them was 22 years old and the other one was 20. I asked them about how can i go to another country for education. They talked with me a little and asked ''why are you in here, its so late''. I just said my dad turned off the computer. People believes simple, idiot problems since i'm a teenager.
Anyway, they said i could hang out with them. I said okay. They were asking money from the people on streets. I asked too and i lied a little.. i feel a little guilty. They were asking the money to get weed. One of them stole an ashtray from a table of a cafe. I know how it sounds, but i kinda liked the way they tried to survive. I guess desperate moments needs desperate solutions. But then one of them said they were selling magazines for handicapped persons at the day and they were asking money and stealing stuff for themselves at night. That balances a little right?
Then one of them turned to me and asked whats my problem. I told about my computer again but he didn't believed me. He said ''You clearly have a problem. Is it about your family?'' i said no. ''is it about money?'' i said no again. ''is it about sexual choices?''. I didn't said anything. I couldn't talk. I just looked at the ground like i always do. I could hear my heart's beating, i felt my eyes was burning a little. ''Is that it? Are you gay?'' he asked. I waved my head up and down so slowly. I remembered the look in my friends eyes when i told them. I didn't wanted to see that look ever again, so i didn't looked at him.
He said ''That's it? There is nothing wrong with that.'' and they started to talk about their gay friends and successfull gay business mans in my country. They said they could take me to a gay bar sometime. They wouldn't take me in since im 16 but i could sit outside. They promised me to introduce me to one of their gay friends. I felt so good, almost normal with them. I was thinking about going to a gay bar with them at new year. What do you think? I don't know what am i expecting actually, i just want to see it. Oh by the way it was 1 am when i got home. My mom said ''we'll talk about this tomorrow''. I don't know whats gonna happen.
One simple ''hi'' opened a new door in front of me. I am gonna take it and hopefully i'll find what i'm looking for.