guess there is something wrong with me

[rover330]

I miss my man and I am not the same without him.

I wonder if that makes me weird in some way...

I seem to be at my best when I am taking care of someone. Don't necessarily understand that...

has anyone else ever experienced that?

[ThatRobGuy]

I think there are two types of people: givers and receivers.

Givers, such as yourself, are only happy when they're taking care of someone else and making someone else happy. You get pleasure from their pleasure.

I'm not saying givers never receive and receivers never give, this is purely just about a natural instinct for people.

So I don't think there's anything wrong with you or the way you feel.

[Rainbowmum]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you , it's only natural that you would be missing him.

When I was doing my grief counseling ,respite nursing care course , one of the things they taught us was the other side of the coin, how to comfort long term carers, and how devastating it was for them to suddenly hand over care to someone else.

You cannot just switch it off , you have to find yourself again ,as well as be comfortable with the acceptance of doing things without him.

I am not going to lie to you , it's going to take time, all you can do is take it one step at a time.
Feeling lost and empty is perfectly natural , baby steps.

We are all here for you.

[MisterTinkles]

Im not sure of what happened, but from some other posts I am concluding that he passed away?

For whatever the reason, I understand.

My grandma was a HUGE part of my life. She was my mother, my father, my friend, my whole family.
When she died, most of me died too. I still cant believe she's gone. It never even crossed my mind she would die, even when she was sick and in the nursing home.....her dieing never crossed my mind.

Another huge part of me died when I had to put my baby to sleep after 19 years (my cat). I dont know where she came from, but she was awesome. We were empathic with each other. She found me when she was grown and I was in high school. We were together for 19 years, so I have no idea how old she really was. She got so decrepit I had no choice but to put her to sleep. That killed the life in me.

I understand pain and sorrow, but I dont feel it anymore, because that part of me is dead....and I expect that makes me weird and freaky, because people dont understand that. I dont really understand it myself sometimes, when I sit here and think about it.

Ive always made friends with the true weirdos out there, because we understand each other.

[SolemnBoy]

I'm the same. I completely lose my sense of self-respect and worth if I can't be of use to others. Nothing wrong with you at all!

[gilhooly]

This planet would be a great place to live if everyone felt like you. Lately I was getting so bored in retirement, I adopted a nice older cat from the animal shelter and volunteered at the local library to encourage people to read books. The internet is great but I loved the feeling of cataloging five hundred year old manuscripts. I could feel how many people had stared at the pages and tried to understand life.

The guy I loved to the point of madness died 15 years ago. I miss him every day sometimes it hurts. I still prefer to miss Tom than lose the memory of him. The only hing that matters in life when you get old is the memories of the people you loved. I can't wait to rejoin Tom in heaven and have a few more adventures. At this point, I have more dead friends than living ones. Good news. My doctor says I will definitely die at some point in time. God, I can't wait to find out what happened to Tommy Mullins. He died of leukemia when I was 13 in 1959. He has been running around heaven for 53 years. I bet Tommy knows every nook and cranny of the place. I sure hope he remembers me. I sure remember him. I thought he would be still walking by my side when I was old and dying.

You sound normal to me.

[Blue]

Nothing wrong with being a caregiver type. I am one myself but, two things you can't do, one is allow yourself to be miserable when you don't have anyone to care for and two is give so much that you loose yourself and are totally lost w/o that someone to care for.

Learn to be content with just you, learn not to NEED to take care of anyone but yourself then, go find someone that wants to be taken care of but, that will give back in other ways so you don't burn yourself out being a giver.

[cameron]

There is nothing wrong with you. You are just you.