What is best to do?

[146Pic]

Hey guys & gals So, here goes:

A week ago, I went on a first date with a guy I met online and let's say the night that followed was... Divine! If the average dates I've had before (including the few relationships I had) were 2 or 3 on a scale of 10, my night with him was a solid 9.5. Like, the kinda stuff that happens to you once every 10 years and that they put in magazines.

The next morning, he said he was more than interested to see me again to learn more about me, and if the chemistry was still right, maybe start something down the road. However, he said he wanted to take things slow and not jump into a relationship again since his last one ended not too long ago. I should mention that we're both pretty independent guys, him a little more than me I believe.

-Problem He's going back home for Xmas (at the other end of the country) and right after, he'll be away for his job even further.
-Result: He's not back in the area til the end of January
-Question: What do I do in the mean time? I'm not too needy by nature, but in the same time I don't want him to loose interest. Should I just let him be and try to get in touch with him whenever he gets back? The last thing I want is scaring him too much by wanting to get in touch while he's gone.

Thanks, any help would be really appreciated

[Blue]

Text, email, chat, get to know each other as friends for a month. Really it's a great time to get to know each other as people and, if the chemistry is there, you won't loose it over non verbal communication for a month.

[pellaz]

i really think hanging back is best but the needy thing could be fun. with his permission fly out there for a week end. You two could have great fun that you would miss out on otherwise.

[MisterTinkles]

Ive found that calling, texting, or leaving messages more than twice a week is not a good thing.
I would consider picking a time you know he might be free to talk a couple of times a week, and just text, email, or leave a message saying "Hi, hope youre having a nice time". And see where that goes.

If after three weeks you have not heard from him, then I would just leave it alone until you do. If you dont, then you know he was just a player. And who needs them, right?

If he does call you back, then you can just take it from there.




Friends make better dates than strangers, and good friends make better lifemates.

Ive found in my observations and advice I have received and given out over the years, that communication IS everything, if you want a long lasting relationship. Keeping things from each other only makes things worse and will usually fester and become other issues as well.

Communicating, talking, and being honest with each other might get some feelings hurt sometimes, but thats better than a fight or a breakup because either party was too afraid to say anything.


Be friends, get to know each other. Spend time just hanging around each other. Let your bad mood show when youre in one. He will see how human you are, not a phony. If he cant take the honest truth, then maybe friends is all you should be.

[146Pic]

Thanks to all for the reply, and especially to you MisterTinkles. I fully agree with a lot of what you wrote.

In terms of my current situation, I think indeed that a little 'hello' twice a week is just enough to keep things simple, especially since he seems not to be big on written communication. He's more of a talker and I don't want to put him in an uncomfortable position.

Thanks for the help

[TomStatic]

Yeah just skype and phone calls are the only thing to keep it going, if its ment to be you will keep the connection strong if not thats life and wasnt ment to be

[Rainbowmum]

You could still text or email him to say Merry Christmas and on New years eve.
There is no reason to stop contact all together.

Just treat him as a friend.