Really??

[barebear]

Twenty years ago isn't wasn't safe to be gay many places. And, that was true the 20 years before that and so on. As a group we have come so far -- that there is any gay marriage in the US amazes me. Rejection is bothering me today. I'm not a twink, I don't go to the gym, I don't have a fancy car, I don't go clubbing. I'm just an average guy in my 40s. I won't win a beauty contest but that's true of most people I think. I don't look awful either. But people look me up and down and then want nothing to do with me based on looks alone. It's disappointing and depressing. As a group I thought we'd come farther re: acceptance.

[megumidesu]

judging people based on appearance isn't a gay thing . it's a people thing

[barebear]

Thanks. It hurts when it happens and its happened so much lately.

[dfiant]

superfiscial people will be superfiscial people and live superfiscial lives, how happy they must be

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Barebear Im not sure what age range your interested in, but Im pretty sure that you would not be suffering significant rejection from your own or indeed older age guys.

The younger generation (anyone under 30 IMO) are generally very superficial when it comes to accepting that older gay guys can be just as active and wanting a relationship as they are. They tend to forget that we were young once, and that they wont be 21 forever LoL.

I would just add that NOT every younger gay male has this attitude towards older guys, but the majority do.

Im not sure if any of our lady members would like to comment on how they find things from their point of view? It would be interesting to get a comparison.

ObW
x

[barebear]

that's a very good point. I don't think I was ever 21 or had the look of youth.

[joseph]

some peple like same age bests. i like same aage not to older then me. not to yonger.

[Rainbowmum]

Shallow people are everywhere , it's not just a gay thing , there are plenty of superficial people in the straight world as well.

And by superficial I am not talking about people that have plastic surgery to make themselves happy with their own bodies , In my eyes those people are extremely realistic and brave, more power to them.

I am talking about judgmental people who feel they are above it all , the type that practice having trophy partners that they flash around like jewels.
It seems like no one is willing to give you the time of day if you have not fallen off the perfection runway.

My grandmother may she rest in peace called it the luxury of youth and the foolishness of the old that think they can be accepted into the younger crowd.

It is a never ending story, a very sad one at that.

[nkmin]

Twenty years ago isn't wasn't safe to be gay many places. And, that was true the 20 years before that and so on. As a group we have come so far -- that there is any gay marriage in the US amazes me. Rejection is bothering me today. I'm not a twink, I don't go to the gym, I don't have a fancy car, I don't go clubbing. I'm just an average guy in my 40s. I won't win a beauty contest but that's true of most people I think. I don't look awful either. But people look me up and down and then want nothing to do with me based on looks alone. It's disappointing and depressing. As a group I thought we'd come farther re: acceptance.

Well, may I ask are you American born? I have been living in the States for 9 years, and to be honest, I still don't assimilate into the culture very well. I'm afraid I would become as shallow as American people. I understand your frustration. I have seen so many superficial people in my life. They were even proud of using people to their advantage. I have been used a few times, too. My mom always teaches me to think about other people's benefits before my own. I'm not a traditional person, but that is one teaching I will never let go. I'm not able to retaliate people who used me. I keep being good to them.

Despite superficial people, I also meet a few good-hearted American people. I know that you will, too. Don't give up your hope.

[Deedee]

I think some people cant live without criticizing someone. but hey Cheer up (: im 16 and young but i dont judge people by appearance. its just looks. looks can be destroyed but whats inside remains.. Cheer up barebear