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Dont expect much
#11
A lot of posts on here such as:

"Thanks for all the help guys".
"I'm so glad I found this site - you've made a huge difference in my life".
"I'm not sure I'd still be here but for you guys".


proves you wrong.

I hope you find what you're looking for elsewhere. Good luck. Bighug
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#12
I'm sorry you feel this way. To be honest, I wasn't entirely sure if you were talking about this site at first. It's hard to believe you were describing this forum and it's members when to me, the people on this forum genuinely do care. From past experience, I've seen a lot of people get the advice and support they've needed. I've seen friendships bloom to the point where Christmas cards are being sent halfway across the world.

Creating a thread is a little more impersonal in the sense that anyone can reply and depending on their mood and situation, the best thing they may have to say is "Keep your chin up". It's the thought what counts, even if it is only brief. As well as that, a lot of advice can be similar, and therefore (Personally speaking) if I see that someone has summed up what I would say, then I may respond with a smaller response of encouragement. It would save people having to read the same thing twice.

On the other hand, there are many here who are willing to help on a more personal level. All you would need to do is contact them personally. Perhaps see if there is anyone to talk to in the chat room. I'm sorry you didn't get the advice you needed, or perhaps you did but it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Either way, if you change your mind we'll still be here willing to help. Good luck in life, I wish you all the best.
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#13
@oliverwreath

Sorry to burst your bubble man, but I think your reply would just make things worst. Instead of making things better for brituc, you are actually ranting more and it really makes his problem worse. We should not discredit any pieces of advice made by others, most of them came here years before you and you dont know how many people they have helped through giving advice. That's unfair. Just because you did not get desirable advice from them, you are saying so many things which are so unreasonable. I think some people should change attitude for them to be treated better.

Peace.
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#14
I'm sorry we haven't had much chance to talk lately. Let me know whenever you want to chat, I'm no good at advice but I'm all ears whenever you need to get something off your chest.
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#15
If people don't know what to say their response is superficial (by definintion) but that doesn't imply the sincerity (and well meaning) of their response. When all people know about you is a few hundred words of text it's difficult to be anything other.
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#16
I don't feel that way. My world was all about being wrong and sick till i found this place. A simple ''its okay'' really means a lot at the deep bottom. These people actually care about you, i think calling it superficial is a little rude and mean. I am gratefull to everybody who tries to help.
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#17
well, there is not really a lot one can say in response to just being plain bitter.

I'm discovered that over the years. One can be kind, one can try to offer an objective perspective, but if someone is determined to be bitter, really, only time is going to help you out dude.

best
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#18
if you don't mind me saying so man, get yourself a little soul. maybe that's easy for me to say but you don't know what I've been through either...

listen to some tunes... get out of the house and take a walk in the sun. do whatever gives you your bliss.

I know it probably sounds easy for me to say. I don't mean to make it so simple. It's not.

But you woke up this morning. There must be a reason.

I'm not going to preach platitudes to you. Like it or not there are people who love you man.

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#19
Pix Wrote:The site works for me. I don't need to be coddled or have people I don't know that well to make me one of their projects, and I don't attach an umbilical cord to anyone, offline or on. And here I've gained valuable insights, and when I asked questions I'm rarely disappointed...usually even when it doesn't live up to my hopes it's still helpful and I just look elsewhere for what I need.

Let's see, offhand I've asked for help in raising my son, about trouble I got into an office while volunteering to set up for a Halloween party, and how to deal with a scammer who tried conning me, and the many answers in all 3 of these threads gave me insights that I found very helpful. I also gained new understanding into multiple things I've wondered about, from something as trivial as why gender bending metalheads of the 80s were against gays to something as deep as why do some gays act in ways that utterly confused me (and may potentially help me save a life in the future). I've even received good info on submarines here.

In addition to that I've greatly enjoyed exchanging the funny pix and vids, the jokes, and bouncing ideas off each other. When I moved to where I am now I lost contact with many people and felt the loss and this place helps me laugh and feel connected.

The moments of sarcasm or hostility have been rare in the extreme and generally don't bother me as I know a little bickering is natural. And I don't recall anyone treating me the way brituc1 describes.

So yeah, I love this place. Confusedmile:

well said pix. me too! i <3 it here.

also, in regards to advice: erica jong said, "advice is what we ask for even when we already know the answer and wish we didnt."
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