So I have this thing that every time I meet someone I really like I start avoiding them. When I start feeling something for someone I panic and I start avoiding them because I'm afraid of having to feel love for them. As I mentioned in "My first love" post that I lost my best friend to the same thing. In college I also had a roommate who was also a great close friend of mine that I stopped talking to and avoided him as much as I could because I started having feelings for him. I have noticed that this is becoming a problem for me for meeting guys. I have chatted with guys on dating website and when they ask to do skype, meet, or talk on the phone I decline. I feel like I want to but just so scared. I have a history of declaring my love to someone and have had it broken into pieces, which I will tell you about in another post, but could that be a reason for me for being scared because I don't want to get hurt again?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Give yourself the benefit of doubt, here "A life spent on avoiding temptation is a life wasted."
My opinion, go and have some fun dont worry about the consequences. or what will happen next. what if they really like you too and you like him too, try to live your life without worrying to much
•
Taking a chance is always a risk , but if you do not take it you will be robbing yourself of a life.
Is love worth the risk of getting your heart broken? Absolutely.
•
I was also in this same position. But once I knew my partner who wasn't my partner at the time was terrified. That's when we took the chance.
We're very happy, We took the chance and it paid off., What's life worth if it isn't worth taking risks? Take the jump you might land it.
•
i was so terrified to commit...and all I wanted to do was commit....lol. That's this confusing wonderful terrifying thing called love. Let me tell you I'm the happiest I've ever been now, And at the same time still terrified every day of my life. Such is the nature of the beast. but take a Chance. Make SOMETHING happen. Dive in. That's what I say.
Mick
•
Sure, it's scary making that commitment, scares me too. I might get hurt, might hurt them, in short, if I do it, it might just end in a massive train wreck for both of us but, it might also be the best thing that ever happens to both of us, a great relationship.
It might take me a while, but I will push past that fear and, shelve the worries eventually because I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if I ran from the right man, wondering what might have been.
•
It sounds like you might be overanalyzing your friendships. You can have friends that you love, that you aren't "in love" with. Learning the difference takes some practice. It also takes practice to NOT fall in love with friends that are: A. Straight, or B. Taken.
•
Two quotes come to mind: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" Winston Churchill, and "Tis better to have loved and lost then not to have loved at all" Alfred Lord Tennyson.
So swallow the fear and go go go!
•
I think you are suffering from something that i tend to myself, but its manifesting slightly differently. I know for me, I have this fear of being vulnerable...all the times i've let my guard down and tried to be vulnerable with someone, it has gone pretty bad. In the past roughly 8 years, I tend to get close to people, especially some guys, and when I realize the feelings I have for them, I begin to push them away or not like them, or even just plain get mad at them. For me its hard to cope with the fact that I have feelings for someone who doesn't/can't reciprocate. In addition, I hate the idea that I might look like a weak person if I succumb to my feelings, so I dont give people the opportunity to hurt me by never putting myself in a vulnerable position.
People don't really understand this about me (cuz I dont really share it) so they normally tell me things like: "wow, you're such a strong person" or "it seems like you just dont need anyone"....couldn't be further from the truth and I can tell you that its not a good way to be because it really does cause you a lot of emotional turmoil.
I hope you are able to move past that and that maybe you can learn from my experience with it.
•
