Need to get over my bromance

[sc4456]

well i've been in this bromance with this amazing guy for absolute ages and i dont want that to end.
he didn't used to but know he knows everything ( that two days after i met him i came out of the closet and i have fancied him for a year now, and now i'm in love with him) he absolute loves that i think he is an absolute babe! and (we're both in scouts so i told him when we were camping) and we always sleep next to each other and that night i told him he started feeling me up in my sleeping bag like grabbing my thing and then tried not to grab his for a while then he unzipped his sleeping bag and put my hand there so i decided when in rome! so i wanked him off for a while then he got kinda angry and said he's not gay and all that and phoned a girl and then when they hung up told her he loved her. it was horrible.
And ever since i have been totally in love with him and kept on thinking there is a slight chance he might at least be bi! but he has said that he is sure he isn't gay or anything now and he used to love me making gay jokes and we would always do it now he hates it when i say something that even relates to him being gay and hew claims nothing is wrong
i can't get over him now and i don't know what to do!!
think anyone could help or give me some advice on how to handle this cause i am freaking out!!

[Counselor]

The best thing to do is set your sights on the future. He's not worth the energy of your dreams if it's a vain pursuit, when you could be looking for someone better.

[sc4456]

that's easier set than done! i've tried everyhting i got a boyfriend then i tried not talking to him then i tried listing things i dont like about him but nothing works he is just perfect

[Marc]

I think we have all been there some time mate, fell for the wrong guy.

I have been in love with my best friend forever, he knows, and really doesn't mind, and we are fine with each other... 1 problem he is straight.

Maybe your friend was experimenting with the idea, and when you said how you feel, he thought why not give it ago?
Or maybe he is struggling with his sexuality?

I would say keep him as a friend, but maybe distance yourself a little from him.
Maybe the distance would help him sort his head out to?

Either way, there's no magic wand, I'm sorry. *hug*

[Double007]

The lesson learned: Unless someone says they are gay, assume they are not gay. I would say that your friend was curious. Now I have seen macho football players smack each other in the butt, jump on a teammate and hug him , and even kiss each other on the cheek. I've never seen them grab each other "their"
He touched you and did all kinds of stuff to satisfy his curiosities. Then had enough when he realized that he wasn't interested. Then had the nerve enough to tell you that he's not going to do "gay jokes" around you anymore. He knows you like him. For him to touch you like that and then blame you for touching back is wrong. Think if a girl told you she liked you and you knew you weren't straight, yet you fondle her in her private parts and then get mad because she got turned on and touched your penis. Wouldn't make sense.

I think you need to first talk to your friend about boundaries. Maybe apologize for stroking him off and admitting to taking it too far. But he needs to know that you have expressed your desire for him and him touching him only mislead you and that's not right. Then you need to make him aware that gay jokes aren't cool anyway and touching people pretending you are gay can get you in trouble and be misleading.

I wouldn't waste much energy. Continue to be a friend, watch him closely, communicate with each in general and then see what happens.

[Counselor]

that's easier set than done! i've tried everyhting i got a boyfriend then i tried not talking to him then i tried listing things i dont like about him but nothing works he is just perfect

Bubba, I wasted a decade of my fantasies on a guy that didn't speak to me for half that span. It's difficult, true, but if he doesn't want that relationship, you have to teach yourself to move past him. Imagine someone that never causes you the ache of the unrequited affection and focus on it.