Hello again, I'm an idiot so I should probably introduce myself again. A few days ago I came out to my family and friends. That was stupid (not coming out, but trusting my family). I think I just blew up my life.
Also I think I have fallen for a guy I just met. He's an artist and I sent him a message on his blog and he responded, which was cool. Then I had such a shit day I started complaining about my coming out problems on his blog and his gay bff decided to "adopt" me into the fold. The artist turns out to be a very nice guy, and I ended up chatting with his gay bff about coming out for most of the afternoon and we just spent most of the night on the phone. The bff also has a private blog that his friends visit. I feel like a stalker because I just spent more time than I want to admit reading the artist guy's posts on there and I also found a link to his private blog, and I read that too.
When I first got interested in his art work I thought he was gay. Now I don't know. The bff didn't talk about him much and I didn't want to ask too many questions. I know he isn't with the bff because the bff has a long term boyfriend, but after years of posts there was no mention of a boyfriend or girlfriend. I think he is obsessed with his other bff, this girl, and she features in his work a lot.
I also saw pictures of him which made my obsession with him worse. He is exactly my type, and now I know more about him than he does about me. That made me fall harder, he is what I imagined he would be from his artwork, but is he gay? All he talks about is the girl, but they aren't a couple. I can't talk to my bff or my friends because they will think I'm crazy. Hell, I feel crazy.