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Give Bad Advice
Go bungee jumping with a semi-cut rope, that'll bring the excitement to your life

Don't wanna work tomorrow
[Image: 05onfire1_xp-jumbo-v2.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp]
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Call in sick, who needs money anyway?

It appears I have a vampire squirrel in my bedroom
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just be grumpy

im kinda horny
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Rubbing pine cones on ur privates just feels awesome!

I think I broke my finger
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use a hammer to smash it.

I haven't been to the movies recently
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Move to the north pole.

My muscles ache
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get a massage with a happy ending.

I want a snack
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Cook a roast dinner.

I'm feeling lonely
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That's what outrageous amounts of cats are for...go get them!

I'd like a guy to throw an arm around him right about now
[Image: 05onfire1_xp-jumbo-v2.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp]
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use a mannequin

I got home from work super tired
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