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Give Bad Advice
Blast the door with that Howizter you got a few weeks ago.

I want to do nothing, but tis yet another weekend of data processing
[Image: 05onfire1_xp-jumbo-v2.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp]
Reply

Tell your boss to shove the work up her ass, along with a cactus.

It's raining, I have no plans, I am in bed. What to do?
Reply

Slip on the sunglasses and shorts and go to work and ask them if they need a hand with anything.

Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.
Gossip is the Devil’s telephone; best just to hang up.
Reply

Wear your hair in a pony tail more than once a week

"I need more parts"
[Image: 05onfire1_xp-jumbo-v2.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp]
Reply

Smash one part to the ground... And voila..

I'm bored at work.
Reply

Flirt shamelessly with your boss.

My lunchbreak is nearly over.
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Drive on the right
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Okay.

I'm confused.
Reply

Read a book backwards, it'll make sense.

I'm driving a reachtruck
Reply

Drive a gazelle on crack instead.

I'm sleepy.
Reply



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