Give Bad Advice

[Blue]

Wash your face with Comet cleaning powder.

I am dreading the task I have this weekend - butchering two hogs, because I have no help and both are 250 lbs (each).

[Counselor]

Be respectful! Their widowers would be offended to great you talk of them as such! Also, ask Hannibal Lecter.


I don't want to do dishes tomorrow.

[Lilitu]

Eat the dishes. They taste like cucumber. Trust me, I'm a cook.

I need to pass my learner's licence test so we don't waste another 45 dollars.

[Beau]

Spend the money on video games instead.

I really need to sleep now.

[Blue]

Take a caffeine pill.

Hmm head over heals, arse over tea kettle, cloud nine... I need more creative descriptive for that ( and more hug, cuddle and heart smilies.)

[Beau]

This cloud goes to 11!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Sponge Bob Square Pants

My clock isn't keeping time, its running slow, what should I do?

[stpdo2]

switch to telling time by the sun

I have far too much to do and far too little motivation to do it

[Blue]

Find more things to do - you'll get stressed and need to burn off that energy.

I want to get another horse but, can't find one I like for sale. Where should I look for a horse?

[Rawr]

Look in the frozen section at Tesco

I want to go on holiday, where can I go?