Give Bad Advice

[monk]

Replace them with sandpaper.

I really need a haircut.

[Counselor]

First have your scalp examined by a phrenologist to select the perfect hair to cut, then have it removed with electrolysis.

I'm tired and I want coffee, but I also want beer and energy.

[monk]

Have both - you'll have the most energetic sleep ever.

I've got more laundry to do. :frown:

[Rainbowmum]

Go down to the local Laundromat and sneak your washing in someone machine, and throw theirs out.

I can't wait for lunch today.

[ChrisD]

You can't wait around for it to come to you, you have to go to it.

I've been having trouble falling asleep for the past week

[rover330]

fall in love with someone who it's never going to work out with, for whatever reason...

[monk]

Bring your problems to "Word Games" and depress us all!

I'm getting addicted to grapefruit juice.

[Rainbowmum]

When shopping always carry a straw with you.

I have run out of compressed air again.

[Miles]

Hold your breath as long as you can and blow it all out as hard as your lungs will allow.

I fought the law and the law won.

[Mirage]

Now rub it in their faces by defacing a municipal building with graffiti

I should go to sleep soon, but I'm not tired