Give Bad Advice

[CellarDweller]

MY roommate smokes and won't let me play with his toes.

WEll that's an odd combo! Hit him over the head, and when he's unconscious, remove his shoes and socks and tie him up.

When he wakes, he'll be unable to smoke, or stop you from playing with his toes.

I need to wake up early tomorrow, but don't want to.

[East]

The best way to get fresh honey is to stick your tongue in a beehive...

[cftxp]

Cults aren't bad, just a way to give up control of your full sovereign body in order to fulfill what you think you need in your heart in a way that you wash your brain with knowledge from the master! Obey the master. Follow the master. Love the master. Make love with the master. Be the master!

[Bookworm]

Always eat yellow snow...

[East]

^^^LOL^^^

Next time you have a dinner party...or even better... host a convention...put this video on and perform this song for everyone...and then force them all to sing along with you...




It will be a "hit"...make sure you get the 10 minute version! More fun or everyone!!!!!

[Bhp91126]

Talk about your sexual prowess and which China you'd like the 2of you to buy on your first date.
Tell him in great detail about the latest episode from Kardashians to show him you're keeping up with the news.
Don't forget to mention all your previous boyfriends and how they were able to make you come hands-free.
Also prove how interested you are in him by asking how much he earns, his credit card numbers and his net worth. This is also the best point to ask for birthday and Christmas gifts.
Don't hesitate to ask for independent references to check, that everything he tells you is true.
Bring along doctors bills, a list of meds you take, to show you have a clean bill of health, except for that latex-allergy which has been proven incurable. And nobody cares about herpes anymore, anyways.

[cftxp]

You know how Skittles tells you to "taste the rainbow"? Yeah, well to do that, you first have to find the leprechaun with the pot of gold at the end. Afterwards, when you do find him, you have to lick him and since he's been there all day, he'll taste like the rainbow! Bite him and you'll taste Skittle martinis with a hint of gin.

[East]

Talk about your sexual prowess and which China you'd like the 2of you to buy on your first date.
Tell him in great detail about the latest episode from Kardashians to show him you're keeping up with the news.
Don't forget to mention all your previous boyfriends and how they were able to make you come hands-free.
Also prove how interested you are in him by asking how much he earns, his credit card numbers and his net worth. This is also the best point to ask for birthday and Christmas gifts.
Don't hesitate to ask for independent references to check, that everything he tells you is true.
Bring along doctors bills, a list of meds you take, to show you have a clean bill of health, except for that latex-allergy which has been proven incurable. And nobody cares about herpes anymore, anyways.

Thanks for those! I burst out laughing....glad I didn't have a mouthful of coffee



On to more bad advice...

If you are hiking and find some mountain lion cubs along the way...make sure to take care of them until their mother arrives...she will appreciate it

[artyboy]

When greeting an Englishman hit him in the face especially if he is wearing track suit.

[Bhp91126]

On to more bad advice...

If you are hiking and find some mountain lion cubs along the way...make sure to take care of them until their mother arrives...she will appreciate it

Bears are enthusiastic dancers, so when you encounter one in the wild and he goes up on his hind-legs he's inviting you to dance with him. Don't disappoint the bear or he might attack you.