Give Bad Advice

[Rareboy]

Don't waste your money. Just slip it under your sweater and just walk out with it.

[East]

^^^^ LOL....
'
I just bought sandbags for the predicted flash floods....

[Rareboy]

Only place them across the front of your place. The water will go around your property.

I don't know what to do about a chipped tooth.

[East]

No worries...just dab a little putty on it and then file it down to match the rest of 'em....and don't forget the glossy white paint for that finishing touch!

How am I going to lose 10 pounds before Jan 1?

[trywait]

only go on a liquid diet! that way, you'll collapse before u lose the 10 lbs!

my belt doesnt have enough eyes for it

[Rareboy]

Use a staple gun to fasten your pants into your waist to keep them from falling down.

I hate getting stuck behind slow drivers.

[trywait]

flash your headlights!

I want someone to cuddle with

[araya]

cuddle with a psychopatic serial killer

I want to stop the flow of time :p

[East]

Drink some rat poison....time will stop...I promise

I want to find some glue that actually works

[AlfredM]

Saliva works~!

I want to know what I need and want, and want what I need instead of what I want.