Give Bad Advice

[Insertnamehere]

Read any self-help book.

I may or may not have a boner right now...again

[thawoods]

dismember your member

i want to visit CERN one day .....

[Insertnamehere]

Tell them to re-create a black hole while you're there

My boner still needs tending

[Cridders88]

Think of your boss, naked.

My new contact lenses don't feel right.

[Insertnamehere]

Carve your eye with a chisel a bit to make them fit better

I wish I could pull off a Tenbu Hōrin so I could remove Adele's voice, my boss eye sight, etc.

[Cridders88]

Embrace Adele, embrace your boss. Make them your life

It's 1pm, and fuck all has been achieved. In fact, I am not yet dressed.

[thawoods]

':-), don't dress it up yet .....

i wash my hands using water, does that count? lol .....

[Cridders88]

Wash them with acid next time, at least they will be clean!

They are drilling the road again outside my flat. I swear it's been nothing but noise on and off since I moved here.

[thawoods]

throw the last plastic cup you for coffee at some random guy outside the window, and see if they don't get even noisier .....

i think spanish guys are the most seductive creatures on the planet, do you have any tips on how to manage this?

[Cridders88]

Move to a Spanish country and sleep with as many Spanish men as possible.

The flooring people STILL haven't been to re-lay the bathroom floor.