Give Bad Advice

[eastofeden]

Bring them a bottle of booze to help them calm down!

You are hiking and a mountain lion approaches you

[CellarDweller]

Oh, they LOVE belly rubs!

I want a relaxing night at home.

[Bhp91126]

Eat some spoiled food and you will spend the evening and much of the night on the commode, free to meditate and relax, away from everything that might aggravate you.

There’s no interesting movies anymore.

[CellarDweller]

Make your own and record them on your phone! You could be a star!!!

I'm craving some chips.

[Chase]

train yourself to avoid chips through negative reinforcement by pouring whatever taste you hate the most on chips and eating them until you gag every time you so much as think of chips.

I'm tired.

[LJay]

Find some Sousa marches online and play them at full volume and you won't be tired for long.

My underwear is pinching. I'd take it off but I don't want to stand up.

[Chase]

Scissor it while it's still on.

The only underwear I prefer to wear is sold by Jcpenneys and they're filling for bankruptcy.

[CellarDweller]

not a problem, just become a nudist.

I need to take out the trash, but don't want to get up.

[LJay]

Not a problem, Chuck. Just chuck it out the window a piece at a time.

Chase, take heart. Amazon is threatening to buy J. C. Penney's. It really is a shame to see the bankruptcy. Penney's has been a good source of well made clothes for a long time.

[CellarDweller]

and now @LJay needs to come back and give us something to give bad advice for. lol